


Mr & Mrs Barnes

by LuckyBanana



Series: Odyssey and Oracle [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, 1940s Bucky, Bucky Barnes Feels, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love, Married Couple, Not really a reader insert but OFC has minimal physical description, OFC can read minds, POV First Person, POV shifts, Plot, Romance, Smut, TW: suicidal thoughts, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyBanana/pseuds/LuckyBanana
Summary: Now that my darling husband Bucky had finally got his head on straight, I was looking forward to some quality time together.Wishful thinking.Once again, I'm ripped from my world, lost in time. But luckily, I meet some powerful allies - including a plucky young Sergeant named James Buchanan Barnes.





	1. SARAH

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hello again. Welcome to the third installment of the Odyssey and Oracle series. You may want to read the first two, but it's not strictly necessary.
> 
> The last installment was a pain fest, so I'm going to try and keep this one a little more fun. (Emphasis on "try" - don't we all love to torture Bucky?)
> 
> Anyway, as you know, I love comments. So by all means, feel free to leave a message, make a suggestion or just say hello. It makes all the difference in the world. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"Wake up, Sarah."

I was sleeping soundly when I felt something start to tickle my feet. In fact it wasn’t something, it was someone. My foot instinctively shot out, colliding with hard metal. 

“Ow!” I whined. 

“Oh, you’re fine,” my annoying husband said. “Get up, or I’ll do much worse.”

“Prove it.”

With that, he threw himself on top of the bed, right on top of me, smothering me in the tangled blankets. He reached below the covers and started to tickle me. I choked on my laughter, trying my hardest to kick him off me, but it was no use. 

“Get. Out. Of. Bed!” 

“You are a monster!”

He stifled my giggling with a kiss. What started as a light, playful kiss, swiftly dissolved into a passionate make out session. I snaked my hands around his neck, into his still damp, long brown hair. 

He squirreled his way under the blankets and shook his wet hair, soaking my face in the process. I screamed as he pulled off my tank top, but was soon delighted by the sensation of skin on skin. He wrapped his strong arms around me and claimed my mouth again. He pulled my leg around his waist. 

“This is not an efficient tactic for getting me out of bed.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“Aren’t we going to be late?” I giggled. 

“Yep,” he said. 

*  
Bucky let go of my hand as we finally entered the boardroom. Captain Steve Rogers sat at the table, arms crossed. He furrowed his brow and dramatically looked down at his watch. 

“Is there something about '9am sharp' that you don’t understand?” 

“Sorry, traffic was insane,” I offered. 

Steve rolled his eyes. He knew Bucky’s bike could make it from Brooklyn to midtown in twenty minutes tops. “Uh huh,” he said, but there was a shadow of a smile on his lips. 

Bucky pinched my ass as I started to sit down, and I coughed loudly to conceal my shriek. He sat down next to me and crossed his arms, looking pretty pleased with himself. I merely glared. 

“Alright,” Steve stood up and got down to business. “Intel tells us that these two men,” he brought up a picture on the holoscreen, “have stolen a very important artifact from the Sanctum Sanctorum in London two days ago.” The screen showed a blurry image of two very tall men; they looked almost identical, and though they didn’t look much older than 30, they each had a shock of ice white hair. I shivered, I already knew what Steve was going to say, but I let him finish. 

“We’ve determined that they are in fact, members of the nearly eradicated race; the Raith.” Steve looked at me sympathetically. 

Bucky took my hand and squeezed it. 

“They are currently on their way to Venice, Italy, where we believe that they’re meeting with their buyer. Our mission is to intercept the Twins, find out who they’re working for, and get back the artifact.”

“The buyer... it couldn’t be _him_ … could it?” I asked. 

“It would have been nearly impossible for him to escape his dimension without us knowing…” Steve said. 

“But you don’t know for sure?” 

Steve shook his head. 

“What did the Twins steal anyway?” Bucky asked. 

“It’s called the Epoch,” Steve brought up an image of a glowing crystal. It was small and pale green. “It is much like the Infinity Stones, but it was synthesized in a lab, using fragments from the Time Stone. It was made at the beginning of WWII by the Sorcerer Supreme, and her team of scientists as a means of winning the war. They hoped that the stone would allow soldiers to jump forward and back in time to gain headway over their enemies - learn about future attacks and the like. Unfortunately, the stone proved to be very unstable, and many test subjects were lost - sent adrift in time without any way of finding them. As a result, the Sorcerer Supreme put an end to the testing and locked the stone away."

“Shouldn’t Doctor Strange come with us? Considering time stuff is kind of his forté?” I asked. 

“Strange tells me he’s busy at the Sanctum in Tibet,” Steve said. “Something about increasing the security of the realm. He told me in so many words that he didn’t want to be bothered with tracking down ‘a useless trinket’ - as he called it.” 

“But isn’t it dangerous?”

“Yes, but only to someone who is foolish enough to touch it. But it’s not going to cause the apocalypse if that’s what you mean.”

Bucky and I looked at each other. We both knew there was another reason why Strange didn’t want to work with us. 

“When do we ship out?” Bucky asked. 

“6am tomorrow morning,” Steve said. “And there’s one more thing. It’s time for our yearly physicals. Tony wants us to complete them before we leave.”

I screwed up my face. “Really? Doctor’s appointments?”

“Yeah, Tony wants his Avengers in tip top shape. I think it’s an insurance thing.” Steve said. 

“Fine.” I said, I was not the biggest fan of doctors. 

We got up to leave. 

“Until tomorrow then. 6am, sharp,” Steve said. “Try not to be late.” he smirked. 

*  
For those of you who are late to the party, perhaps it’s time for a little backstory. 

My name is Sarah Barnes, née Sara White. I come from another dimension. Yep, you heard that right: a completely different dimension. Where I’m from, there were no Avengers. There were no enhanced humans or aliens races living among us. It was just a normal, unextraordinary, boring place. I, on the other hand, was never normal. Ever since I was a young girl, I’d been gifted with certain talents that other people around me didn’t possess. I say ‘gifted’ - but really it was a curse. I could hear people’s thoughts and predict the future - though at the time I just thought I was crazy. So did everyone else. My abilities landed me in a mental institution from age 17-28. 

As it turns out, I never belonged in that “normal” dimension. I was actually born right here, the place where magic and fantasy are real. An alien named Rai Vorta, one of the last of a powerful but evil psychic race - the Raith - wanted to use me and my powers to re-populate his decimated home planet. So he hid me in the “normal” world until I was mature enough to be of use to him; then he transported me back home. 

That's when everything changed.

It came as quite a shock to me that my abilities were not merely the product of insanity, but a unique and special power. I was lucky enough to be adopted by the Avengers, who helped me to thwart Vorta, and trap him in the dimension that had once been my prison. I hoped I would never have to face Vorta again - but something in my gut told me that was not to be. 

Despite all the danger, chaos and unbelievable volatility of my new life, I have never been happier. The Avengers had welcomed me as one of their own, and my life was devoted to a higher purpose now, protecting the innocent. And that wasn’t all. I was in love. 

Bucky Barnes was there the moment I fell into this wacky dimension, and his arms were open to catch me. He was unlike anyone I’d ever met: brave and loyal, charming but humble… and did I mention, a total knockout? We bonded quickly, both of us were still adjusting to different worlds, and he captured my heart hard and fast. We’d been married for a little over a year, and it still gave me goosebumps every time he touched me. And he touched me a lot. 

Bucky put his arms around me from behind as we walked out of the boardroom towards the medical wing. “Are you excited to go to Venice?” he asked, his face in my hair. 

“Yes, but I kinda wish it was just the two of us… and we weren’t on official Avenger business.” 

“I know, doll. I’ll tell you what, as soon as this mission is over, we’ll take a trip, just you and me, anywhere you want. Sound good?”

“Can we go to Hawaii??”

Bucky winced. “Sounds awfully… sunny.”

“That’s the point, dum dum,” I said. “You could use a little sun, you’re looking more goth every day.”

Bucky chuckled and turned me around in his arms. “Well, I am a vampire, after all,” he said, leaning down to bite me playfully on the neck. 

I was caught up in hysterics and I almost didn’t hear the nurse call my name. 

*  
“Alright Mrs. Barnes. I’ll just start with a few basic questions. Are you currently in good health?” 

“Fit as a fiddle,” I shifted on the exam table. The weird sanitary paper crinkled unpleasantly under my butt. 

“When was your last check up?”

“Not since… well, since I was back home… in the hospital. So, almost two years?”

“I see. Are you on any medications?”

“Yes, Sertraline for anxiety.”

“Any birth control?”

“No…” 

“Any chance you could be pregnant?” 

I blinked. With everything that was going on, it never occurred to me to even think about it. God, how stupid and careless could I be? Not that I didn’t want to maybe have kids one day but… 

I shook my head. “My period ended a couple of days ago…” 

“Alright, Mrs. Barnes, lean back and we’ll start the exam.” 

*  
I came out of the room slightly dazed. Bucky stood up and kissed me on the forehead. “Everything alright, babe?” 

“Yeah, yes… healthy as a horse.”

“You okay?” Another little perk of being gifted with psychic powers is that I could read people’s minds. My powers were sketchy at best, but they’d proven useful more than once. Bucky and I shared a special connection, and as a result, he could usually tell when I was hiding something. 

I made sure to keep my thoughts distant from him. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just hate doctors.”

“That bad huh?” 

“He gave me five booster shots.” I rolled up my sleeve and stuck my bottom lip out. 

“Oh, poor baby! Did he at least give you a lollipop?”

“No,” I pouted. 

“Do you want me to beat the shit out of him?” 

“Yes.”

“Mr. Barnes? The doctor will see you now,” the nurse said. 

“I’ll bring you his head on a pike,” Bucky whispered, kissed me on the cheek, and followed the nurse into the exam room. 

*  
Bucky and I were uncharacteristically silent as we sat down to dinner in our perfect little house in Brooklyn Heights. I knew something was on Bucky’s mind, I could sense it, but I didn’t want to intrude upon his privacy. I may be able to read minds, but it was still rude to do it without permission. So we ate, and I was content to sit in companionable silence. 

Eventually, Bucky put down his fork. “Pisicuță, I need to talk to you about something very important.” 

My stomach suddenly hurt. “What’s wrong, Buck?”

“Well, nothing’s wrong, exactly. I mean, I’m not sick or anything…”

“Spit it out Sargeant.” 

He reached over and took my hand, squeezing it tightly. “I spoke to the doctor, and well,” he looked like he was about to cry. “I’m not… I can’t…”

I stepped around the table and put my arms around him, dropping down so I was sitting on his lap. “You can tell me…” I said.

“HYDRA, they… they made sure…” He swallowed. “I can’t father children.”


	2. BUCKY

You know, after all these years, I still love flying. I love looking at the patchwork fields from so high above them. They don't look real, more like a train set that I had as a kid. I love how the earth moves when the plane dips and bows, and the flutter in your stomach when the world tilts slightly askew. 

I wanted to look out the window as we flew over the coast of Italy, but I was too distracted. I couldn't pull my eyes away from her face. 

She was tucked into the crook of my arm - my good arm - sound asleep. She looked like and angel when she slept. 

I could have been content to hold her that way forever, if she'd let me. I still couldn't believe my luck at finding a gal like her. She was special. Funny and bright, brave and kind… and she picked me: a fucked up old man. I would have done anything for her. Anything she wanted. 

But I couldn't give her _that_. A family. Yet another way I was deficient. When I told her about what HYDRA had done to me, her reaction came as a surprise. I felt it in her mind: she was so sad. But not for herself. She did not regret the family she couldn't have. She felt sad for me. 

Sometimes her unconditional and abundant love for me just knocked me on my ass. It was so much more than I deserved. If I was a better man, I would have let her go, let her be free to have some semblance of a normal life. But I'm much too selfish for that. So I watched her sleep, and wished I could be worthy of her. 

The plane hit a bout of turbulence, and she snorted herself awake, her face was lined with red marks from pressing so hard into the fabric of my jacket.

"Huh?" she said. 

I chuckled. 

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost."

"Thank fuck," she said, dropping her head back on to my shoulder. 

Yep, I'm a lucky man. 

*  
Sarah unceremoniously dropped her bags on the floor of the hotel room. She let out a slow, long whistle. "Swanky," she said. 

Steve was hold up at a SHIELD safe house in San Marco, but I sprung for a hotel room for us. 

"You like it?" I reached down and wrapped my arms around her from behind. 

"You know I do. Thanks honey."

But I could tell she was ill at ease. Sarah couldn't keep anything from me, even before we could read each other's minds. "What's the matter, doll?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. 

She squirmed in my arms, but I held on. "Oh, you know I hate flying… it makes me woozy," she said. 

"And…?"

"And… well, you know I'm nervous about the prospect of confronting Vorta again. I mean, dude's kinda my nemesis."

"Yeah, I understand. It's a lot to process," I said, and squeezed her a little tighter. She let her head fall back onto my shoulder. "Is there anything I can do for you, doll?" 

"No, I'm alright. I just need to put on my big girl pants and nut up."

I winced at the mixed metaphor. "Well, I have a surprise for you," I said. I took her hand and pulled her towards the bathroom. "Ta da!"

"Holy shit, that's a thing of beauty."

In the center of the bathroom sat a huge copper soaker tub. It cost extra, but it was worth the reaction. 

"I'm gonna get in ya," she said to the tub, and started to fill it with hot water. She pulled her t-shirt over her head. "We don't have to be anywhere soon right?"

I leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed the view of my wife undressing in front of me. "Not until 18:00." I said. 

She didn't even wait until the tub was completely full before she eased herself into the hot water. She let out a little moan as she did so, and I almost felt lightheaded; as all of the blood in my body had swiftly rushed to my cock. 

I wandered back into the bedroom and removed my jacket and sweater. When I walked back into the bathroom, she was fully submerged, blowing little bubbles in the water and wiggling her toes. She was endlessly endearing, my Sarah. 

"Relaxed?"

"No," she said without opening her eyes. "I'm still super stressed."

I chuckled. "Maybe I can help with that."

One thing people often assume about my metal arm is that I can't feel anything with it. They could not be more wrong. It doesn't register pain, surely - it would hardly be useful if it could - but I can definitely feel. 

I reached out to her with my left hand, gently breaking the surface of the water, and finding her leg. 

"Are you sure you're not going to rust up there, RoboCop?"

I snickered. She's such a brat. I snaked my hand around her thigh. I savoured the silken texture of her skin - every inch of every curve registered acutely. I could feel the heat of her blood, so different from the temperature of the water. I could feel her pulse quicken as I moved my hand between her legs. 

I knew she liked it when I touched her that way; it was an often requested maneuver. It look my breath away to see her face contort with pleasure when I pushed a finger inside her, then another… 

She was so soft, so insistent. I was always surprised and delighted to see how quickly I could make her come that way. I pressed my lips to hers, eager to taste her as she trembled and twitched around my fingers. 

Finally, her muscles relaxed and I slowly let her go. 

"Better?"

"You're clearly trying to drown me," she said, her face was marvelously flushed. I knew that if I didn't have her soon, I would lose my mind. 

"Naw, I just couldn't resist. You're like a gorgeous, sexy… boiled ham in here," I pinched her leg. 

"Shut up BUCKY!" Her eyes flew open, and with a determined scowl she splashed me thoroughly.

"Oh, you asked for it, doll." I said, as I stood up and swiftly removed my clothes. 

She shrieked as I climbed into the tub on top of her, displacing a huge amount of water and soaking the floor in the process. 

"What are you doing, you lunatic!" Her crystalline laughter echoed off the porcelain tiles. 

"What? I'm not going to let you drown alone, darling." 

She felt so small and warm beneath me, her belly vibrating with laughter as I kissed her. I pulled her legs around my waist, holding her thighs. 

Her laughter turned to a precious mewl of pleasure when I pushed inside of her. God, I would never get used to how good she felt. She squeezed me with agonizing strength, and I lifted her hips easily so I could bottom out. 

The water splashed out of the tub as I fucked her thoroughly. She grabbed my shoulders to pull me closer, but I had to hold back so I wouldn't risk hurting her. I only wished I could make the moment last forever, but I knew I couldn't. It was too intense - I came inside my girl, feeling her stretch and shutter around me. 

Soon, she lay limp beneath me, her eyelashes fluttering against her red cheeks. I gathered her into my arms and rolled her over, reluctant to leave her body. 

She crumpled on top of me like a ragdoll, and I listened to the sound of her heart begin to beat normally.

"Okay…you win. I'm relaxed now," she said. 

Mission accomplished. 

*  
"You know, when I said I wanted to travel more, this is not exactly what I had in mind," she said. 

We sat on the veranda of a quaint little café, just across the street from the ancient church. 

"What, you didn't want me in your ear during your entire vacation?" The voice came from my earpiece. 

Captain Steve Rogers was stationed atop the church, across the piazza from our café. 

"Frankly, I'm hurt," he said in our ears.

"Are these guys going to show up this century, Steve?" I asked, leaning back in my chair. We'd been staking out the joint for an hour and a half. 

Before he could answer, two men in white cotton suits emerged from the south dock. One had a briefcase in his left hand. 

"Heads up," Steve said. "The Twins at three o'clock."

"I see them," I said. 

"So much for a second honeymoon," Sarah said, getting up. 

I chuckled and reached for her. "Ready Mrs. Barnes?"

"As I'll ever be, Mr. Barnes." She took my hand. 

I lowered the veil around my mind like Sarah taught me. The Raith were a psychic race, and we had to make sure that the Twins couldn't see into our heads and blow our cover. 

We nonchalantly wandered towards the church, posing as tourists. I opened the heavy door and my eyes quickly adjusted to the dark cacophonous sanctuary. We'd caught them just in time. I saw a sliver of white fabric disappear behind a door at the rear of the pulpit. The Twins were on the move. 

We started towards the door when a guard stepped in front of us. 

"Mi scusi," he said. "But we are getting ready to lock up for the evening."

"Aww, Mister, can't we stay a little longer? My husband and I came all the way from Georgia to see the big ol' Jesus statue. Biggest in Italy, I heard," Sarah said. I was completely perplexed at her choice of speaking with a southern accent. 

"Mi displace, signora," he continued. "I'm afraid we must be closing up now." 

Sarah furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. She trained her eyes on the guard and spoke softly. "But we're with a special tour group. We have permission to stay late… remember?"

The guard stood momentarily stunned, then slowly, he spoke. "Si, si signora, of course, spiacente... " He walked away in a kind of a daze, out the front door, locking the heavy bolt behind him. 

"What was that?" I asked. 

"Just something I've been working on…" she replied. 

"Was that some kind of Jedi mind trick?"

"Good cultural reference Buck! I'm proud of you!"

"Have you ever used that trick on me?"

"Only when I'm trying to get you into the sack."

"That hardly takes much coercion, doll."

She giggled as we hurried towards the passage at the back of the church. 

We stuck close to the wall and moved slowly down the dim passageway until we heard voices. I peered around the corner and lo and behold, the Twins were there. And as we expected, they were talking to none other than Rai Vorta himself. 

I could feel Sarah tense behind me so I squeezed her hand to calm her down.

"That was not the agreed upon price," one of the Twins said. 

Vorta opened the briefcase, and a soft green glow reflected off his face. "I would have thought you would want to help our cause, gentlemen." He reached down to put on a heavy metal glove; it looked to be made of some kind of chainmail. He lifted the stone from the case, inspecting it closely.

"We don't care about your 'cause' Vorta. We came here to get paid," the other Twin said. "and if you ain't prepared to do so, we'll take our business somewhere else."

"You will, will you?" Vorta said, reaching behind him to grab his weapon in his free hand. 

I pushed Sarah further behind me, creating a shield between myself and the entrance to the chamber.

Vorta didn't hesitate. He pulled the trigger swifty, and both men burst into flames. It seemed an awful messy way to dispose of them, but Vorta always had a flare for the dramatic. 

While Vorta paused to watch with satisfaction as the men sizzled to a crisp in front of him, I sprang into action. I communicated silently to Sarah that I wanted her to stay back, but of course, she didn't. 

I dodged the men on fire and launched my body off the wall, kicking the weapon out of Vorta's hand before he knew what was happening. 

Sarah jumped from her hiding place and dove for the gun. She rolled and grabbed it, pointing it up at Vorta, but before she could shoot, he bolted. Coward. 

We took off after him. I should have been able to easily take him down, but the passageways where narrow and winding, and he seemed to know the layout very well. We ran through a kind of catacomb, until finally, we came to the end of the tunnel. A dead end. 

"Fuck!" Sarah cried. 

"Wait…" I felt along the brick wall, there was a seam along the grout. It was clearly a secret exit. Sarah looked around for a latch, but I didn't waste any more time. I slammed my arm into the seam, punching a sizable hole in the ancient bricks. A swift kick and the rest of the bricks fell away easily. 

I let Sarah pass first and we ran down the alley back to the docks behind the church. Twilight had descended over Venice, giving the landscape an eerie rose coloured glow. Abandoned gondolas bumped against the stone walls of the canal. It was quiet, and oddly deserted.

We stopped dead in our tracks, unsure which way to go. "Steve, any sign of him?" 

"I just saw him running along the south dock," I could hear Steve racing along the rooftops above.

Steve jumped from three stories high skidding on his shield as he hit the boardwalk. The two of us got to Vorta at roughly the same time, with Sarah a little behind, gasping for breath. 

It all happened so fast. And it was completely my fault. 

I lunged at Vorta, knocking him down on to the boardwalk. As he fell, the Epoch stone flew out of his gloved hand. Sarah acted on instinct… she couldn't have known. She dove for the stone, and the minute her exposed skin touched the crystal - she was gone.

She didn't dissolve, she didn't go up in a puff of smoke - she simply vanished. The stone rolled off the boardwalk into the canal and sank.


	3. SARAH

I was falling again, but not for long. A pile of boxes and paper garbage bags broke my fall. 

"Ah, son of a bitch!" I said. 

"Sweet Mary and Joseph, are you alright?"

I dug around the pile of garbage and slid my way on to solid ground. I stood up and slapped the dust and dirt off my jeans, trying to get my bearings. 

I was in a sort of alleyway, I could see on to the sidewalk beyond. People were bustling to and fro, some in uniform, others in pretty dresses and tailored suits. I recognized the street, I was back in Brooklyn - but things looked decidedly different. 

"Oh… no."

"Hey, honey, you okay?" There was a girl in the alley with me. She was very petite and pretty, and she wore a green dress that offset her vibrant red hair beautifully. She was smoking a cigarette. 

"Uh…"

"Where on earth did you come from?" 

"Err…"

"That was some trick! You just appeared out of nowhere! Is that an act for the Stark Expo? It's not for a week you know. You should probably work on your landing!" 

I looked around and there it was, the alley was papered with posters: "Stark Expo 1943."

"Oh crap."

The girl pitched her cigarette and approached me. "Really, are you okay?"

"Umm, not really." 

"Here, sit down for a minute," she gestured towards a wooden crate. "My name's Connie. I was just ducking in the alley for a smoke break. My boss would be absolutely livid if she knew I smoked." Her laugh was giddy and infectious. "What's your name, sweetie?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. I deduced that the stone had transported me back to the 1940s…

"The stone!" I bolted up and dove back into the garbage pile. 

"What on earth are you doing?" Connie called. 

"It's not here!" I cried, digging through the rubbish. "Fuck!"

"Okay, miss potty-mouth," Connie said. "Just calm down. What's your name, hon?" 

"Umm…" Time travel is a bitch. I honestly had no idea how to answer, but I thought it was best to retain my anonymity… just in case. 

"If you can't remember your name, you're in real trouble," Connie said. 

I had to think fast. What was my great aunt's name…? Something old timey. "Umm… Dolores…. White," I said. 

"Pleased to meet you Dolores. Now what are you looking for in that pile of garbage?" Connie batted her eyelashes.

"Oh, just my… keys. Apartment keys," I said, crestfallen. 

"... sure," Connie rolled her eyes. "Hey, I'm almost done my shift. I'll bet you'd like a bath, and being locked out of your apartment and all…"

"You're awfully nice," I said. 

"Hey, my mother raised me right. And you look like could use a friend. Here, let me just settle up with my boss, I'll be right back." She scurried away and left me perfectly perplexed.

I was in a right pickle this time. I couldn't believe I'd been stupid enough to touch the stone, when I knew what it did. It was a relief that I seemed to still be in the right dimension - but 1943?? With the stone gone, how the hell was I supposed to get home?

Connie came back before I could thoroughly panic. "Alright, my apartment is just a few blocks away, follow me." She smiled broadly. 

I followed her, wide eyed. Brooklyn looked so different, but still somehow the same. The people looked more like movie stars than real people, everyone was so formally dressed. 

Soldiers walked by, not bothering to hide their delight at the sight of a girl in skinny jeans and a leather jacket.

The Soldiers… Bucky. Oh Bucky! There I was, in 1943 - the old Bucky could have very well been in Brooklyn at that moment! Had he shipped out yet? I couldn't remember...

For a minute I thought I should try to find him - but I swiftly thought the better of it. Bucky surely would have mentioned it if he had met me in the 40s. My limited knowledge of time travel told me that anything that happened in the past has already happened and can't be changed… or something.

"So where do you live, anyway, Dolores?" Connie asked. "You know what? I'm gonna call you Dot, it's much cuter."

"Suit yourself."

Connie giggled. 

"Umm I live in… Brooklyn Heights."

"Whoosh girly! That's a rough neighborhood! You a lady of the night or something?" 

I snorted. "Of course not!" 

"Hey, I ain't one to judge. I mean, you swear like a sailor," Connie laughed. "Anyway, this is me." We walked up to a three story brick building, with a sign that read Barbizon Hotel. 

"You live in a hotel?"

"It's a ladies boarding house, silly!"

Connie greeted many young ladies as we ascended the stairs to her room. Some of them looked at me peculiarly, but didn't ask any questions. 

Finally, we reached her room. It was a lovely space decorated with delicate floral wallpaper and plush pillows on each of the single beds. Clothes and makeup items were strewn everywhere. It was warm and lived-in. 

"Let's relax a while and we'll go down to dinner, sound alright?" Connie said kindly, then looked down, wide eyed. She grabbed my wrist. "That's an awfully fancy watch for somebody who lives in Brooklyn Heights!" 

I jerked my hand away and tried to cover my Fitbit with my sleeve. 

"Alright missy, I wasn't born yesterday," Connie crossed her arms. "What are you hiding? You ARE one of Howard Stark's people aren't you?" 

I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to tell her, "Not exactly…" I managed. Then before I could stop myself I burst into tears. 

"Aww, Dot, I didn't mean to get cross with you, don't cry!" Connie sat down on the bed and put her arm around my shoulder. "Tell Connie what's wrong," she cooed. 

I looked into her mind. She was curious and kind. I could trust her. "I'm not from around here…" I said. 

"I knew you were too classy for Brooklyn Heights. So where are you from?"

"2019," I said. 

"What is that, a zip code?"

I fumbled through a kind of explanation. I talked about the future, time travel and dimensions. I talked about the Avengers and about the Epoch stone - and about Vorta. I left out the parts about Bucky. If I started to talk about him, I would never stop crying.

Connie listened patiently to all I had to say, and I think she understood, but most of all - she believed me.

"So you don't think I've lost my marbles?" I asked when I was finished.

"Not at all. I've seen plenty of things in my life that I can't explain, why not add time travel to the list?" She was telling the truth. "I just feel real sorry for you, is all. This must be so confusing for you!"

"That's for damn sure."

"So, do you have a plan? How are you going to get yourself back where you belong?"

"Well, Steve said that the Epoch stone was forged sometime in the 1940s, so I suppose I'll have to find it. And I'd bet my life that Howard Stark had something to do with its creation…" 

"Well! That settles it then! We know where we can find Howard Stark, don't we? The expo's this Saturday!" 

"Yeah but…"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head. Things have a way of working out, you'll see." Connie's cheerful attitude was making a world of difference. I couldn't help but smile. 

"So… I have a week to kill in 1940… that is a dangerous prospect." 

"Well, it could be worse. You have me to show you around don't ya? Now why don't you have a nice bath and then we'll go down to dinner."

"Thanks so much Connie, I can't tell you how glad I am that I met you."

"No sweat, sugar. I'll find a way for you to pay me back," she winked. "Starting with… tonight you're coming out with me!" 

"Where are we going?"

"We're going dancing!" 

*  
I looked down at the claw foot tub as it slowly filled with hot water, and I thought back to the last time I had a bath. The last time we'd made love… oh Bucky! He must be worried sick.

I eased myself into the water, right up over my head, letting the hot water wash away my tears. 

*  
"I don't think this is a good idea, Connie."

"Oh, lighten up, Buttercup. I'm not going to let you mope around the apartment for a week! It'll be fun, I promise." Connie sat at the vanity, applying a liberal amount of rouge to her already rosey cheeks. "Wait til you get a load of my date! He's a total dreamboat, I mean, he's not really my type - if you know what I mean," she winked. "but he's still gorgeous!" Connie giggled. 

"Not your type? Then why are you going out with him?"

"A girl's gotta dance doesn't she?" she laughed. "He wants me to bring a date for his friend, so you have to come. You owe me, after all." 

"You sure don't waste any time collecting on your debts, do you?"

Connie laughed and got up. "We have to do something about your clothes. This Rosie the Riveter thing you got going ain't gonna fly at the Copa."

"The Copacabana?" My jaw hit the floor. 

"Yeah, you heard of it?" She giggled.

My head was spinning. This was turning out to be quite the little accident. I was going to see the original Copacabana? I had to admit, it was exciting. 

"There's that smile I knew you were hiding!" Connie gushed. "Now, my clothes won't work, you're a little more… ahem… buxom than I am. Maybe Peggy has something…"

"Peggy?" Holy shit. "Peggy Carter is your roommate?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"Wow, that is amazing." I said. "She's a legend in my time. She's a total badass." I had to admit I was a little star struck by-proxy. And I suddenly wished with all my heart that Steve was there with me. 

"Ain't that the truth! She's joined the army, don't you know. She's over at Lehigh beating some new recruits into shape as we speak," Connie beamed. "Ah! Here we go!" She swung around holding her prize. "This will do just fine!"

*  
And so we took a train and a street car, and I tried my best to take in every detail of New York in the 40s. Sure, I may have been lost in time, seperated from my friends and my husband, with no way home… but heck! What an insane adventure. 

Everything looked saturated and dirty, but busy and exciting. New York was a city on the cusp of global prominence. Young men were faced with the prospect of death or glory, while those left behind fought with vigor to keep the country together. The atmosphere was electric. 

We alighted from the streetcar near the East entrance of Central Park. The sky had darkened to a rich indigo. I tugged on my fitted red frock. It was slightly uncomfortable, as I was wearing some awfully complicated underwear - but I had to admit, I felt rather pretty. 

We approached a huge ornate water fountain. The moonlight reflected off the water, creating little bolts of lighting as it splashed and bubbled. 

Two men stood with their backs to us, one tall and one short. 

"Yoo hoo! Oh boys!" Connie called. 

I half expected it to be them… I mean, who are we kidding? But I was not prepared for what I saw when the boys turned around.


	4. BUCKY

"You better start talking, Vorta - or I'm going to have to send Barnes in here. And you don't want that, trust me." Steve sat across from the bastard, arms crossed, speaking calmly. Much too calmly. 

I watched from behind the two way mirror. My jaw was clenched so hard I thought my teeth might break. Then I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. 

"Hey, you gotta calm down, Bucky," Nat said. She rarely called me Bucky, it was usually 'Barnes' or 'hey you'. She must have felt really sorry for me. "We're not going to get any answers out of this bozo if he's minced meat."

She was right. As much as I wanted to make that guy history, we needed him alive. For now. 

The albino fuck was handcuffed to the table, wearing a shit eating grin. 

"Okay, let's start with… how did you get back to this dimension?"

"Oh, it's not hard once you get to know the right people…"

"Uh huh, and what's that supposed to mean?"

"That 'normal' dimension you dumped me in isn't as 'normal' as it seems. All I needed was access to a Large Hadron Collider."

"Right… whatever… I don't actually care." Steve shifted in his chair. "Tell me about this 'cause' of yours."

"Same as always, I'm just trying to put things right. To avenge my people."

"Your people enslaved and tortured millions."

"It's just evolution, Captain Rogers."

"So what, you were going to use the Epoch to go back in time, then what?"

"Stop that miserable bitch, the Sorcerer Supreme, from eradicating my people." 

"But the Epoch is unpredictable. Why would you take the risk?"

"I was willing to try anything. I just needed to get back.. back to a time before the genocide of my race."

"Pretty half-assed plan if you ask me." 

"Would you have acted any differently if it was your family who had been slaughtered?" Vorta sneered. 

Steve stood up and spoke softly. "I'm going to ask you a question, and you better think damn hard before you answer, understand?" He had the Good Cop routine down pat. "Where is Sarah Barnes?"

Vorta exploded into disgusting phlegmy laughter. "That's the thing. I have no idea!"

"How can you have no idea??" 

"Because the Epoch is like a random number generator. It can manipulate time but it can't be controlled," Vorta smiled. "You can torture me as much as you want, Captain - but I can't help you find the girl."

"Won't stop us from trying." Steve said. 

Nat couldn't stop me. I burst into the interrogation room. 

My arm bit into the soft flesh of his face, and I felt the bones crumble like eggshells. I got two or three hits in before Steve grabbed my shoulder and threw me at the wall. 

"Bucky, Jesus Christ. Calm down! He's obviously lying. You gotta back off." He had his hand on my chest, holding me back.

"I'm going to kill you." I said. 

"Poor Bucky… couldn't protect your little pet?" Vorta spat through bloody teeth. 

"You shut your mouth," Steve pointed at Vorta. "or I will shut it myself."

Steve grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me from the interrogation room. 

"You okay pal?" 

"No, I'm very not okay." I pushed my hair back from my face. My skin was crawling.

"He's not telling us something, that's clear." Steve shook his head. "We gotta get into that guy's head."

"Get Strange. Now." I said. 

*  
"Did you lose your wife, again, Sergeant? You'll have to start putting her on a leash." 

"Watch it, Strange," Steve warned. 

Doctor Stephen Strange sat casually at the boardroom table, the Epoch stone lay in a box in front of him. Steve had retrieved it from the canal as soon as it had fallen in. We couldn't risk anyone else touching it. 

I paced the room. If I didn't punch something soon, I was going to lose it. And Strange's face looked awfully appealing. 

"Don't make me smack your heads together, you two," Nat said. "Tell us what you saw in Vorta's head."

"Well, beyond the veil of self righteous idiocy, he seems to be telling the truth," Strange said. 

"What do you mean, 'seems to be'?" I barked. 

"Well, my telepathic abilities aren't as advanced as…"

"The Oracle's…" Nat finished. 

"Sarah…" I said.

"Exactly. Ironic, isn't it?" The three of us scowled at Strange. 

"God dammit, this is all my fault," I pulled my hands through my hair. "I shouldn't have jumped Vorta on that pier…"

"It's not your fault," Steve and Nat said in unison. 

"They're right, you know," Strange said. "It's Sarah's own fault. She's the one who was stupid enough to touch the stone with her bare hands." 

I stalked toward him but Steve put his hand up. "Really, Strange? You got a death wish or something?" he said.

Strange shrugged. Cocky son of a bitch. 

"Well, what if I touch the stone? Will it take me to the same time as Sarah?" I asked, I was at the end of my rope. I'd rather be lost with Sarah than anywhere without her. 

"No," Strange said. "As I keep trying to tell you, this thing," he gestured to the Epoch, "is a useless - albeit dangerous - trinket."

"We'd just lose you too, Buck." Steve said, brows furrowed. 

"Well we have to do something!" I shouted.

"I know. We will. We just have to think before we do anything rash," Steve said. 

"If we're going to bring her back, we'll use the actual Time Stone to go get her," Strange said, gesturing to his amulet. 

"So now we just have to figure out where she is." Nat said. 

"Okay, let's hit the books. See if Sarah Barnes shows up anywhere in history," said Steve. "Look for Sarah White, too - she might be using her maiden name."

I winced.

Steve pulled me aside. "Go home. Get some sleep. We'll stay here and research," he said.

I shook my head. 

"We'll find her, Buck. I promise."

*  
I paced the floor of our house. Her stuff was everywhere: books, records… so many records. She never put them back in the right sleeves. It used to drive me crazy. 

I looked down at my hands. I looked at the gold band on my right hand. I had to wear it on my right hand for obvious reasons. Sarah used to say that the gold would clash with the silver of my arm anyway. God, Sarah… where'd you go?

I put my hands on the ledge of our little brick fireplace, letting my head fall, trying to get ahold of myself. My chest hurt. 

When I looked up I saw the framed picture on the mantle. It was me, my official military photo, taken before… everything. Sarah had insisted on framing it, she loved it. God, I was such a dumb kid. Careless, naive… I hadn't changed at all, really. And it cost me everything. I smacked the picture off the mantle until it collided with the wall, smashing the glass into a thousand pieces. 

I slammed the front door and jumped on my bike, gunning it over 100mph. I made it almost all the way to Jersey before I realized that I hadn't even bothered to put on a jacket. But I wasn't cold, even though my hair was soaked from the tears that refused to stop falling.


	5. SARAH

"Holy, shit, you're a damn baby!" I cried. 

Old Bucky… I mean young Bucky… he was the same, but not. I'd seen pictures of him before the war, but damn - I was not prepared for the real thing. 

His face was flushed pink, his irresistible grey-blue eyes were full of laughter. He moved with the swagger of a man who knew exactly how attractive he was. 

"Who are you calling baby, doll?" Bucky laughed, and I could feel myself blush from the top of my victory rolls to the tips of my slingback kitten heels. 

Bucky leaned down to kiss Connie on the cheek. "Hey, Con. Who's your friend?" 

"This is my cousin Dot White, from Jersey," she said. 

"Pleased to meet you, Dot." He gripped my hand tightly, and looked right into my eyes. I just about melted on the spot. He wore a dark blue suit jacket with tailored brown slacks. He wore a tie, but it was slightly loose, and his top button was undone. The effect was impressive. 

I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I thought you'd be older, for some reason…" Yep, five seconds in, and I'd already made a right fool of myself. 

"You like em old in Jersey, I guess?" Bucky chuckled. "Well, I can assure you I can tie my shoes all by myself and everything." 

"Bucky's just got out of Basic," Connie cooed. 

"Sorry I haven't even introduced myself. James Barnes. But everyone calls me Bucky," he said. 

I squinted. It was just too weird. "Nope, can't do it. I'm going to call you James, if that's alright."

His smile almost made me faint. "The only one who calls me James is my ma," he said. 

"Well son, get used to it." 

Bucky laughed again and shook his head. He finally seemed to remember that his friend was standing next to him. "Sorry… allow me to introduce my best friend, Steve." 

I had to admit, I was so enraptured by James Barnes that I hadn't noticed Steve at first. You can hardly blame me. He was very small. It was pretty surprising at first, since I'm used to seeing the human Adonis that is Steve Rogers. But damn if he wasn't adorable. He still had the same blonde hair, and electric baby blues. 

I shook his hand, but he didn't meet my eyes. "Pleased meet you, Mrs. White," he said. Ever the gentleman, though I could tell that he was extremely nervous.

"Mrs?" Bucky started. I felt a little wave of jealousy waft off of him, which delighted me to no end. "You're married?"

Steve had apparently noticed the gold band on my left hand. God, in the excitement I almost forgot what was happening. Sure, I was looking at Bucky - he was standing right in front of me - but my husband was 100 years away. 

I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. "Umm… not exactly..." I couldn't finish. Luckily, I didn't have to. 

Steve spoke up, "I'm real sorry, Dot," he smiled warmly. He obviously assumed that my husband had died in the war. I didn't try to correct him. 

"Hey," I smiled through watery eyes. "Don't you guys get weepy for me. Are we going dancing or what?" 

"Yay!" Connie bounced.

Bucky smiled. "Let's go!" 

*  
I was surprised to discover that nightclubs in the 1940s were not that different from ones in the 2010s. On the outside, anyway. We had to wait in line. 

Bucky and Connie were talking, laughing about who knows what, but the silence between me and Steve was heavy like a lead brick.

Steve shuffled nervously next to me, so I figured I'd try to make conversation. "So, uhh.. Steve. What do you do?" Stupid question.

"Well, I just graduated from Auburndale," heavy sigh, "but I'm hoping to enlist, obviously. But… no luck yet." 

I'd hit a sore spot. "Don't worry, you'll get in," I said. 

"You really think so?" He looked up at me, with a little flicker of light in his blue eyes. 

"Absolutely."

"Here we go!" Connie exclaimed. We'd reached the front of the line. I could hear the big band music spilling from the entrance, and I began to get very excited.

Before we could step inside, we were stopped by the bouncer. "Hold on there, kid. You old enough to get in here?" he said to Steve, a big gross smile on his ugly face. "I mean, some of the ladies might step on you."

Steve clenched his jaw, and I saw Bucky tense up, ready for a fight. 

"Hey! Who you calling a kid, fat boy?" I shouted into the bouncer's face. "Don't you dare talk to my date that way! He's more of a man than you'll ever be."

The bouncer's nostrils flared. For a moment, I thought he was going to hit me, but Bucky stepped up. 

"Whoa whoa there," he said, pushing forward. "Sorry. This dame - she runs a little hot, you know? If you let us in we won't cause no trouble," Bucky reached out and shook the bouncer's hand, he was obviously bribing him. 

"You better not, or I'm going to teach you and your dame a lesson," the bouncer sneered. He let us pass, but I could feel Bucky's anger. He wanted to kick the shit out of that bouncer, but he held back. It was a night for dancing, not fighting. 

"You didn't have to do that," Steve said as we walked in. 

"Yes I did."

Steve merely frowned. 

What I saw when we finally got into the club knocked my socks off. I stood there stunned while I took it in. 

There were beautiful women, dressed to the nines, soldiers and gentlemen, all of them dancing. The champagne was flowing and there was laughter and music everywhere.

Towards the back of the dancefloor, there was a full band, with horns and drums and a beautiful woman crooning into the ribbon microphone. The band was on the same level as the dancers, making them seem more like part of the party, rather than just performers. Couples weaved round each other, some graceful, some clumsy, all dancing to the swinging melody. 

A huge artificial palm tree hung over the dancefloor, adorned with tiny crystals that matched the chandeliers. 

"You like it, doll?" Bucky called in my ear. His breath moved my hair, because he basically had to shout, it was so loud. 

I simply closed my gaping mouth and nodded. Bucky laughed. "Come on, Con. Let's dance!" He grabbed the petite redhead and pulled her onto the floor. 

I looked at Steve. "Should we get a table?" I asked. 

We found a table for four on the little balcony to the right of the dancefloor, which afforded us a great view of the dancers below. A pretty waitress in a lavish floral headdress took our order: manhattans for Bucky and Steve, pink martinis for me and Connie. 

The music was enchanting, and the dancing was marvelous to watch. Though to be honest, my eyes rarely left Bucky and Connie as they waltzed about the room. Bucky's face was full of life, flushed with joyous activity. 

I had danced with Bucky before - and he was no slouch - but here in the past, he was really something. Graceful yet masculine, he guided Connie across the dancefloor. It was incredibly sexy. I had to remember to tease Bucky about it later. If there was a later… 

It was difficult to talk to Steve, not only because it was loud, but because he looked so very ill at ease. It must have been hard to feel trapped in a body that betrayed you. He stared at his drink with a kind of far away sadness. "You been friends long, you and James?" I tried. 

"Since we were in primary school," Steve smirked. His eyes darted to his friend, who was now dancing with a new partner, a blonde bombshell with a big rack. "He wasn't much of a ladies man back then, if you can believe it. When I met him, he had the best stamp collection in Brooklyn, and he'd spend his Saturdays at the library looking up pastry recipes." 

I giggled. 

"Hey, he plays tough, and he got me out of plenty of scraps," Steve said fondly. "but he's a softy at heart." 

Just as he finished, Bucky came back to the table, Connie bouncing behind him. I was already working on my third martini, and I was very glad to see her. "You're a fantastic dancer!" I said.

"Well, it's easy with a good partner!" Connie laughed. 

Bucky stood behind her and finished his drink, then leaned over and downed Connie's too, "You flatter me, Con."

She laughed and swatted at him. 

"Come on then, let's get back out there!"

"Let me rest a spell, would ya? These heels are murder!" She waved down the waitress to order another drink, and lit a cigarette. 

"Will you do me the honour, Dot?" Bucky asked with a smirk, "That is, if Steve don't mind." Steve gestured to proceed. 

"Oh, I don't know… I'm not much of a dancer." 

"Ah, come on, doll. It's a slow one," Bucky held his hand out to me. "I'll be gentle I promise," he winked. 

It's a good thing that it was hot in there, and I was already flushed, because all the blood swiftly rushed to my face. With some trepidation I took his hand. 

He made a spectacle of leading me to the dancefloor, and with a little flourish, took me firmly by the waist. 

I felt the urge to weep when his arms wrapped around me. I knew he didn't know me, I knew that my Bucky was far far away, but I greedy for his touch. He felt the same - maybe a little less muscular, a little softer maybe - but the same. 

He looked at me and his brow furrowed. "You okay, doll?"

I shook my head and smiled, "Yeah, I'm doing alright."

"Do you miss him?" he asked. 

I started, "What? Oh…" I looked down at my hand on his shoulder. The ring.

"Yeah. But right now… I'm doing alright." I said again. 

That seemed to satisfy him, and he broke out the big goofy smile that I loved but rarely saw. He turned me in a circle, holding my waist ever tighter. 

"I really ah…" he looked down. "I really appreciate you being so nice to Steve. He's a stand up guy but, he's not really… popular with the ladies." 

"He said the same thing about you."

Bucky threw back his head and laughed. "Liar," he said. 

"How long have you and Con been together?" I asked.

"We're not together," he said. 

"Why not?"

Bucky laughed again. "Connie's a swell gal and fun as hell, but I know she likes dames," he said. 

"Then why do you…?"

"Well, I can't dance by myself can I? And I got a reputation to uphold. Connie's the prettiest girl in Brooklyn." He looked into my eyes and his face got serious. "I mean, she WAS the prettiest girl in Brooklyn." 

It was my turn to laugh. "At ease, Sergeant." 

Bucky stopped dancing for a second, looking down at me inquisitively. "How did you know I was up for Sergeant? Steve doesn't even know that."

I looked down. "Lucky guess." 

Bucky chuckled and continued dancing. "Good guess. You psychic or something?"

"Or something," I smiled. 

And so we danced, one song turned into two, then three, then four. I even let him guide me through a faster number. I felt silly and clumsy, but I was also having the time of my life. For a little while I forgot everything, and was content to just be around him. 

We passed Connie on the dancefloor several times, always with a new partner. When Bucky's back was turned, she winked at me and made a kissy face. 

I began to feel guilty for leaving Steve alone at the table, when he band leader announced the last song of the night. 

"You got one left sweetheart?" Bucky smiled at me. His hair was a mess. His tie hung loose from his throat, he'd ditched his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. I could see the outline of his chest through his white shirt, damp from sweat. 

"You talked me into it."

He gathered me up in his arms as they started to play Moonlight Serenade. He leaned into me, placing his cheek softly on my temple. I held on to his warmth, desperate to be closer to him. 

"Doll?" 

"Yeah?"

"Why do you keep squeezing my left arm?"

"It's squishy."

Bucky chuckled. "You're an interesting girl, you know that?" he squeezed my hip, and I smiled against his shoulder. 

"This is my favourite song," he said softly. 

"I know…" We'd danced to that song at our wedding.

"What else do you know?" He pulled back and took my chin in his hands, searching my eyes. 

I couldn't answer, I thought if I opened my mouth, I would cry. 

He merely smiled and pulled me closer, dragging his lips across my cheek and into my hair. 

*  
"That was… incredible," Connie flopped down on her bed and lit a cigarette, kicking her shoes off until they hit the wall. 

"Yeah, it was something," I said, beginning to shimmy out of my dress. 

"So you and Buck really hit it off, huh?" Connie wiggled her eyebrows. 

"He's… he's something else."

"He's real sweet on you, I can tell."

"Well, I'm pretty sweet on him if I'm being honest," I slipped into the beautiful silk nightgown that had belonged to Peggy. "But it's not like I can do anything about it. I don't belong here, remember?"

"Well," Connie threw her cigarette out the window. "There's no harm in having a little fun while you ARE here." 

She had no idea how wrong she was. As I lay in bed that night, fighting for the sleep that wouldn't come, I worried. I had been so careless, so selfish. I had no idea what kind of ramifications socializing with Bucky in the past would have.

I thought that if he'd met me before, he would have remembered. But I'd searched Bucky's mind so many times… he never knew me before 2017. If the past can't be changed, then I couldn't have made much of an impression on him tonight…

Overwhelmed with emotion and exhaustion, I cried myself to sleep, and dreamt about him.


	6. BUCKY

I just wanted to hold her a little longer. She felt so soft in my arms. The band played something slow, and I was grateful; it gave me an excuse to put my hand on her waist. 

She kept pinching my arm - my left arm - as if she was checking to see if I was real. It was strange, feeling pain there again, even though it was just a peck. Dancing with her felt right, like I'd been doing it my whole life… 

The dance floor was now empty, with just the two of us swaying to the ghost of a fading melody. I remembered the words, but I forgot the tune. _I stand at your gate and the song that I sing is of moonlight…_

__

The music stopped and she looked up at me. I knew her face. 

Before I could speak, she was gone. She vanished like she'd never existed at all - leaving me alone with empty arms.

*  
I woke up with a crushing sadness in my chest. I had nightmares often, but this was different. I wanted to go back. 

I pulled myself out of bed and forced myself to shower and get dressed. Sarah wouldn't have wanted me to wallow, even if I never found her. The thought was too much to bear, so I put it out of my mind. 

I marched into the Tower, determined not to leave until I had some answers. I made it to the library as Steve was on his way out. 

"Hey bud, how you holding up?" Steve was hugging me before I could stop him. 

"Well, you know…" was all I managed. "Did you find any leads?"

"Not yet, I'm afraid. But it's early yet," Steve furrowed his brow. "Look, I gotta go, duty calls - but I'll be back as soon as I can to help you keep looking. Hang in there, Buck."

Steve took off, but Nat was still in the library, books piled up to her chin and the holoscreen scanning through pictures and documents at lightning speed. 

"As it turns out, Sarah Barnes is a very common name," Nat said without looking up. "So is Sarah White, Sara Barnes, Sara White…"

"No luck huh?"

"Well, I've found plenty of Sarahs in the census over the years, but they aren't detailed enough. And it's doubtful that Sarah would spend time filling out census forms while she was lost in the past… but then again, she could have. She must know we're looking for her," Nat sighed. "I've put thousands of archive photos through the facial recognition, but nothing so far matches our girl." 

"I understand, Nat, thank you for trying. I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway…"

"Okay, so what's our next move?"

"Well, Vorta is obviously lying to us. That so-called plan of his was a load of bullshit, that's clear."

"Yeah, unless he's a total idiot, he would know that changing something in the past won't change the future without creating another timeline," Nat said. "Though, I wouldn't necessarily disregard that he's just a total idiot." 

"He's hiding something, and I'm going to find out what."

"I'm coming with you," Nat said, following closely as I hurried to the brig. 

*  
"You gotta trust me, Buck," she pressed her hand against my chest. "This is kind of my forté. He's just going to fuck with you."

Nat was right. If I got in that interrogation room with Vorta, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from beating the shit out of him. And now, we needed him to talk. 

Nat walked in wearing her disarming naive girl face. She sat across from him and clasped her hands together. 

"I need you to tell me where Sarah is," she said plainly. 

"Did Bucky send you in here? He can't do his own dirty work?" Vorta laughed. 

"Save it, asshole. You're talking to me now. And I'm not as gentle as Bucky."

"You're right, he's a pussycat. He couldn't kill me if he tried, even to save his girl."

"I don't think that's the case." Nat crossed her arms. 

"Well, I guess we'll never know will we? Since Sarah is gone and she's not coming back."

"You seem pretty sure of that fact."

"It is the nature of the Epoch stone."

"So let's see if I got this right," Nat leaned forward. "You never planned to go back and kill the Sorcerer Supreme, did you? You never wanted to stop the eradication of your people, because you knew that was impossible," She'd got him. "This was always about Sarah wasn't it?"

Vorta was silent for a long time. He seemed to be weighing his options. In the end, he couldn't resist his own hubris. "Why did you think it was so easy for Barnes and Sarah to find me in Venice?" he boasted. "They played into my hands from the very start!" he laughed. 

"Why do you want to hurt Sarah so much?" Nat furrowed her brow. 

"Because she could have saved my race. If she had come with me…"

"But she would never have done that."

"Well, not with her little boyfriend following her around."

"Was it Bucky that you meant to send back in time?"

"... Yes. But that stupid girl had to go and reach for the stone first." 

"She never would have gone with you, even if Bucky was dead." 

"I am very persuasive," he smiled. 

"So how do we get her back?"

"I keep telling you, you can't!" 

"Then your plan was a failure, Sarah's gone and Bucky's still here."

"Well, it wasn't a totally failure," he smirked.

"Why? What did you get out of it?"

He cracked another repulsive smile, and bared his long white teeth. "Revenge," he said.

*  
I burst out of the Tower before Nat had even left the interrogation room. I'd been such a fool. I'd fallen for the oldest trick in the book, and Sarah had paid the price. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it was a trap. I hadn't stopped to think. I just went in, guns blazing. 

If it had been me, Sarah would have stopped at nothing to find me. She would have used her powers to track me down. So profound was our bond, she could have found me anywhere. I cursed myself. What I wouldn't give to have just a fraction of her powers. 

She was somewhere, waiting for me, and I had no idea where to look.


	7. SARAH

I stood on the doorstep of the Sanctum Sanctorum on Bleecker Street and adjusted my hat. I smoothed my skirt and tried to work up the courage to knock on the door. 

Connie was at work, and since I couldn't see Howard Stark until Saturday, I figured I would try to go to the source of the Epoch Stone: the Sorcerer Supreme herself. 

To say I was nervous was an understatement. Did I happen to mention that the Sorcerer Supreme is my real mother? It must have slipped my mind. 

Why didn't I mention it before? Because to be honest, I didn't really think about it much. I always knew I was adopted, but I never dwelled much on fact that my mother was a superior being. I'd gotten my powers from her, but I'd never met her. She's never tried to contact me. She was a legend, a myth. Now, standing on the front steps of the Sanctum, I was afraid. What if she didn't like me?

I knocked on the door and waited. Nothing. I knocked a little harder. Nothing. Finally I started pounding on the door with a relentless rhythm. 

The door opened a crack. "Yes? What is it?" a voice said. 

"I'm here to see the Sorcerer Supreme."

He slammed the door in my face. I pounded on it again, and again, it opened a crack.

"Go away."

"Please, I need help…" 

Slam!

"Son of a bitch." I pounded harder. The door didn't open this time. "Tell her that her daughter is here to see her."

A moment passed, then finally the door opened all the way. A man in long red robes was glaring at me.

"Look, I don't know what you want but -" I didn't wait for him to finish. I barged past him into the main foyer. 

Dust and smokey incense clouded the air of the dim interior. Enticing and mysterious objects were stored in glass cabinets, and books were piled high against the walls. It looked pretty much the same as it did in my time, if maybe a little more austere. 

"I need her help, it's urgent. Please ask her to see me," I said. 

He let out a long sigh. "What is your name?" 

"Sarah Barnes. She knows me, I promise."

"Very well," he turned to leave.

"Wait, I didn't catch your name."

He stared at me, then finally relented. "You can call me Xan."

"Nice to meet ya Xan."

"Don't touch anything," he said and went into the next room, closing the door behind him. 

I made sure to touch as much as I could until he finally came back in the room. 

He narrowed his eyes. "The Sorcerer Supreme can not see you now."

"What? Did you tell her who I was?"

"Yes, I'm afraid that doesn't change anything."

"I promise I'm not here to resolve any mommy issues or anything - I just need her help."

"She is aware of that."

"Just let me talk to her," I made for the door, but Xan stopped me. 

"She's not here. She is in the Sanctum in Tibet."

"Oh. Well, can't she just…" I mimed a circle. 

Xan rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid not. Now if you'll please go…"

"Please," I said. "I don't belong here, I don't know what to do. Can't you just ask her one more time?"

Xan's eyes softened, and he let out another long sigh. "Fine," he said, and returned to the other chamber. 

When he returned, his face was grave. "The Sorcerer Supreme tells me that she can not help you."

"Why not?"

"She simply said that you are exactly where you are meant to be - and that it can not be changed."

"That's all?"

"...she said, that you will know what to do, when the time comes."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just gaped. 

"I'm afraid I'm really going to have to ask you to leave." I tried to read Xan's mind, but it was heavily shielded. He obviously wasn't telling me the whole truth. I cursed myself for not being able to break the shield. 

"Fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted," I said. 

Xan walked me to the front door, and before he closed it he said, "I'm sorry Sarah. Truly."

I went outside and looked around hopelessly. It had begun to drizzle, which felt fitting in my current mood. I plopped down on the Sanctum steps and started to cry.

"What's the matter, doll?"

I looked up to see none other than James Barnes looking down on me with quite the concerned look on his face. 

I was both delighted and perturbed to see him. I must have looked a right mess. Once again, when I was feeling hopeless and alone, there was Bucky. How did he do that?

"Come here and get out of the rain you silly girl," he said, yanking me up by the hand and pulling me close, so we were both sheltered by his umbrella. 

He pulled out a hanky and offered it to me. I dabbed my eyes and went to give it back, but he waved it away. 

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked. He was close enough to kiss me, thoughtfully keeping me safe from the rain. I simply shook my head. I wasn't sure what to say. 

"Well, okay," he said. "You don't have to tell me - but I'm sure it's nothing a hot chocolate can't fix." With that, he secured his hand around my waist and lead me to a little bohemian cafe just around the corner from Bleecker Street. 

We tucked ourselves into a cozy booth near the rear of the cafe. The cafe was decorated in heavy reds and yellows, with shiny tassels hanging from macrame planters. I even spied a rather tasteful pin-up of Rita Hayworth in a gaudy gilded frame. Bucky ordered us each a hot chocolate with whipped cream.

He was right, I took a sip and it warmed me immensely. 

"Is there booze in this?" I asked.

"It's their specialty," he said.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Barnes?"

Bucky just laughed and reached over to wipe the whipped cream off my upper lip. 

"Oops."

"You are endlessly endearing, you know that?" he said.

"You're not so bad yourself, Jimmy."

Bucky's smile warmed me more than the hot chocolate ever could. 

"Now are you going to tell me why you were crying on the steps of that creepy church?" 

"It's not a church, actually. It's more like… a Buddhist temple."

"Do I have to teach someone a lesson?"

"You're going to beat up a Buddhist?" I giggled.

"If I have to."

"Well, I appreciate the sentiment, I guess, but it's nothing like that. I was… looking for my mother."

"Is your mother a Buddhist monk?"

"Something like that. I was adopted, you see… and I was told that she lives there." I didn't know why I was telling Bucky any of that. Whenever I was around him, I suddenly couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"And they wouldn't let you see her?" 

I shook my head. 

"That's awful, doll." He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. 

"It's okay… I mean, it's not okay, but it is what it is. So, what were you doing in this neighborhood anyway?" I thought it best to change the subject. 

"Well, I was going to go pick up my uniform, actually. But it can wait until tomorrow. I uhh.. ship out on Sunday."

For a second I almost forgot where I was. There was a war on. Bucky had to go and fight, and I couldn't stop it. I pinched my leg under the table to stop myself from crying again. I simply nodded and continued to drink my hot chocolate. 

There was a weird tension between us now, neither of us seemed to know what to say. 

Bucky gazed out the window for awhile, then back at me. "Life is short, doll. Will you come out with me tonight?"

"I'm out with you now."

Bucky chuckled. "I suppose you are. Then will you stay with me, Dot?"

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, James."

*  
"This game is rigged," he furrowed his brow and cocked his rifle. "The sight is all crooked."

"Five cents a play," the grizzled old man behind the counter said for the millionth time. 

"Yeah, yeah…" Bucky slammed another nickel onto the counter.

"Please, James - you don't need to spend all your money on me." He'd laid down nearly five bucks to try and win me a little stuffed cat prize. That's like a thousand dollars in 2019… 

"Well what else am I going to spend it on?" He focused hard, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes. I'd seen him make that same expression while he was in full sniper mode. 

"Goddammit!" He tossed the air rifle down onto the counter. I had to admit, watching the skilled marksman fight with a kids game was slightly adorable. I giggled.

He smirked, grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. "Are you laughing at me, doll?" 

"Yep." 

"Well, I'm glad I amuse you," he said softly. 

The carnival was busy. Children and adults alike were enjoying a rare moment of joy and wonderment in a troubled time. Soldiers hung on to their sweethearts, and friends laughed together joyously.

Bucky flashed me that disarming smile of his and danced me around - out of the way of the throng. He wove his fingers through my hair, lovingly caressing a curl like it was a rose petal. Then right there, in the middle of the crowded carnival, he kissed me sweetly on the mouth. 

Before long, he pulled back, "Sorry, Dot, I didn't mean to be so forward." Was he blushing? "I just couldn't help myself." 

"I know the feeling," I said, breathless, and kissed him back. I figured, to hell with it. This was happening. 

He chuckled and pulled me closer, savouring my lips. 

" *Ahem* "

We broke apart like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Bucky's lips were covered with my lipstick.

"You two look like you're having fun," Connie giggled. 

"We were," I said, gesturing at Bucky while Connie was turned to me. Bucky wiped his mouth on his sleeve. 

"Well, if you're quite finished," Connie said. "My new friend Norma and I heading to the fine art tent." She gestured to a cute brunette, waiting by the batting cages. "Care to join us?"

"We would be delighted!" I exclaimed. 

Bucky took my arm in his and looked down at me like he was the richest man in Brooklyn. 

*  
And so, we wandered around the exhibition, hand in hand. I was hoping there would be some compelling pieces to look at, but most of them were pure Americana, bordering on propaganda. There were hand painted posters for the war effort, unrealistic bucolic scenes, and sensationalized wartime imagery. I recognized a Norman Rockwell.

Bucky was mostly quiet, but like always, I could tell that something was bothering him.

"Are you enjoying the exhibit?" I asked.

"Honestly, not really. I mean look," he pointed to a poster of a little boy collecting scrap metal. "Damn kid looks happy. He probably lost his father and his brothers in the war… and when he's old enough, they'll send him to the front lines too." 

I squeezed his arm.

"It's all a little heavy handed, of you ask me," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"Well people have to feel like they're contributing something. If they showed nothing but bloodshed, how would people keep their spirits up?"

"I know… I just get so sick of all the… wasted opportunities…" Bucky shook his head. 

"You wanted to be an artist before all this, didn't you?" I said.

"I wanted to be a photographer," he said, a small smile on his lips. "I'm obsessed with the idea of stopping a moment in time. Capturing it makes the subject significant, immortal, precious… I would have even settled on being a war photographer - but they had different plans for me, I guess." 

"It's because you're so good with your hands… " I said, then immediately flushed deep red. 

"Doll, you have no idea," he smirked.

"I just meant… being a boxer and all. I can see why they want you to fight." 

"I never wanted to fight," he said. "I started doing it so I could defend myself - and Steve of course - but as it turns out, I have a knack for violence. It's more of a curse than a blessing, really." 

We wandered out of the tent into the cool night air. It was getting late, and the crowd at the carnival was starting to thin out. 

We found a little bench to sit and wait for Connie. Bucky sat close to me and wrapped his arm around me, and gazed up at the stars. I was amazed at how much brighter they were. 

"Can I take your picture, Dot? When this is all over?" he turned to look into my eyes. 

"I would be honoured," I said, and leaned in so he could kiss me. Kissing him was like being home again. He tasted the same, like honey. His technique hadn't changed much either. He liked to start slow and take his time, brushing his lips against mine until I shivered. 

"You know, it's maddening, meeting a gal like you now - when I have such little time left…" he said softly. 

"Bucky, you have plenty of time," I kissed his soft, smooth jaw. 

"Yeah well… hey - you called me 'Bucky'!"

"Force of habit."

Bucky chuckled, perplexed. "You're one in a million, you know that?" he said, shaking his head. "Talk about missed opportunities…" then he was kissing me again, just like he'd never stopped. 

"I leave you alone for five minutes!" Connie exclaimed. 

Reluctantly, we separated and Connie grabbed my hand to pull me off the bench. 

"Gee whiz! What would you do without me protecting your virtue?" Connie said. "Come along young lady."

"Wait," Bucky got up and took ahold of my arm. "Look uh…"

Connie rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll give you a minute, but NO MORE KISSING," she said, giggling. I think she was a little drunk. 

Bucky took my hand, his face was serious. "I get my orders on Saturday, then well, you know…" I nodded, I couldn't meet his eyes. 

"We're all going to the Stark Expo - everyone in New York is - but there's no one else I'd rather spend my last night with," he said. "Please say you'll come with me."

I knew I had things to do that night. I had to find Howard Stark, find the stone, and find a way home. It was my last chance. But still…

"I would love to, Bucky."

He ignored Connie's strict orders and kissed me anyway.


	8. BUCKY

"Are you scared?" 

I closed my eyes. How was I supposed to answer that? My left hand found the skin of her thigh. My skin against hers was warm, and it felt like home. 

"I'm not sure if scared is the right word," I said finally. She waited for me to elaborate. "I guess I'm resigned. I was drafted, I didn't choose this. But I know it's the right thing to do. I just wish…" I turned to look into her eyes. 

Why couldn't I remember the colour of her eyes?

No, I see them now, deep brown… I'd seen them a million times… usually so expressive and bright, now filled with a look of mourning. 

"I just wish I had more time."

*  
I woke up slowly this time. I wanted so badly to hang on to the details of my dream, but it was fading too fast. I didn't realize that I'd been crying until I noticed that my face was wet. 

I got up and washed my face. There was a dull ache in my stomach, a kind of nagging anxiety that felt like I was forgetting something important. It reminded of me of when I first started to come out of my Winter Soldier daze. I could almost see it… it was on the tip of my tongue… What was it? Something in my dream… 

It felt like Sarah was calling to me, but I couldn't quite hear her… I felt sure I must have met her in the past, but the memory was locked away, inaccessible. The irony was, that if Sarah were with me, she could have easily went into my mind and retrieved my lost memories - she'd done it before. But I was on my own now. 

Well, almost.

I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes. I knew what I had to do, who I had to ask for help… and it wasn't going to be pleasant. 

*  
"Please tell me you've found her."

"I'm close," I said, marching past him and into the Sanctum. 

"Close? Am I supposed to know what that means?" Doctor Stephen Strange asked. "Did Natasha find something in the archives?"

"No," I crossed my arms. "I've been having these… dreams. I'm convinced that I know where Sarah is - but my brain is such a mess," I shook my head. "I can't access the memories."

"And…?" He was going to make me say it. 

"And I need your help."

"To do what, exactly?"

"Dig around in there!" I said, pointing to my head. "I know you're not as good as Sarah, but I know you can do something!" 

Doctor Strange frowned profoundly. "It's not that easy, Sergeant," he said. "A person's web of memories is not an easy thing to navigate, or to untangle. It takes a great deal of trust, and intimacy…"

Oh good. 

"Look, I know you and I are not exactly pals, but I don't know what else to do. Do you care about Sarah?" I said.

Strange clenched his jaw. "You know that I do."

"Then I'm asking you to please try." 

Strange contemplated for a moment. "Very well," he said reluctantly. "But I'm doing this for Sarah." 

"That's all I ask." 

Strange led me up several flights of stairs, deeper into the Sanctum. Finally, we arrived at a room that I recognized. There were no windows or furniture, just ornate rugs and pillows littering the floor. Last time I was there, I'd found Sarah and Strange in a rather compromising position. Obviously, it was all a misunderstanding, but it didn't stop me from beating the shit out of Strange. No wonder he hated me. He clearly cared deeply for Sarah - even though he was an ass. It's not like I didn't understand jealousy. If I were him, I would hate me too. 

"Sit," he commanded, and started to light candles and incense. I sat cross legged on the floor and watched him intently. When he was done, he sat down across from me. "Give me your hands," he said. 

"Are you trying to seduce me, Doctor?"

He stared at me expressionless. "I see that you have absorbed some of Sarah's unique and irritating sense of humour."

"Can you blame me?"

"It's endearing when she does it. On you it's just tacky. And besides, if I was trying to seduce you, you would be seduced."

I let out a long low whistle and couldn't help but crack a smile. 

"Focus, Sergeant."

"Sorry, I'll be good," I said, and took his hands. 

Strange sighed and closed his eyes. I did the same. His cool hands were shaking slightly. "Now, I need you to think about Sarah. Think about the first time you met her."

"Well, it was a couple of years ago…" I began. 

"Not out loud! I said think about it. Do you move your lips when you read too?" 

I grimaced and did what he asked. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Steve and I were investigating a building that was under attack downtown. It was so early in the morning, that no one was there except the security officer - and Sarah. We'd gotten the security guard out, but Sarah was trapped in the basement, rubble and fire surrounding her. She'd been so confused, I had to pick her up and remove her from the building. She'd felt so fragile in my arms… 

As it turned out, she wasn't fragile at all. Emotional, sure. Reckless, sometimes. But she'd been through a lot in her life, and at heart, she was tough as nails. Also loyal, self sacrificing, clever…

Strange was muttering something that I didn't understand. " _Aperire animo etiamsi ille indignus est, memoriam revelabis…_ " Then he said, "Now focus on the memory. How did you feel when you first saw her face?"

It hadn't been love at first sight - not exactly. It's not like I was floored by her beauty (not that she isn't beautiful to me) - but she possessed this indefinable warmth to which I was irresistibly drawn. I remember her looking up at me with those big brown eyes… they were so familiar. Had I seen them before?

"Yes, James - you had seen them before," Strange answered out loud, without opening his eyes. "Now think, where did you see them?"

"I don't remember…"

"You do remember," he insisted. "Remember her eyes. What do you see? What do you hear? Smell? THINK."

It was dark. It smelled like alcohol, smoke, people. Laughing. Dancing. I could almost hear it… I remember the words, but I forget the tune… _My love, do you know that your eyes are like stars brightly beaming…_ We'd danced to that song before. I was sad, and I knew Stephen felt it too.

"Focus on the sensations. Where are you, James?" I could feel Stephen near me, not just physically, but mentally. But it wasn't hostile, it wasn't vicious - it was grounding. 

She was warm when I held her close. She seemed nervous. I was nervous. She kept squeezing my arm… Her lips tasted like vanilla and lipstick… I loved her then, and I knew that my life was hers from that moment on… 

"Oh my God…" My eyes flew open. I jumped up from the floor. I somehow ripped apart our mental link, and Strange looked disoriented.

"Wait!" Strange called, but I just kept running. I bolted out of the Sanctum, on to my bike and back to the Tower. 

*  
I burst through the doors of the library like a man possessed. I hadn't even noticed that Strange was following right behind me. How did he get there so fast?

Nat was sitting, still surrounded by books and documents. She looked drawn and tired, dark shadows pooled under her eyes. "What the fuck, Barnes? You scared the shit out of me!"

"I need you to look up something… " I began.

"I assume this means that the spell worked?" Strange said, crossing his arms. 

"What spell?" Nat asked. 

"I think I was sufficiently able to jog Sergeant Barnes' memory," Strange replied. 

"Do you know where Sarah is??" Nat sat up. 

"Look up the Copacabana, June 1, 1943."

Nat clicked away on her tablet. Soon, pictures from that night started to flick past on the holoscreen. 

"Stop!" I said. She stopped on a picture of the inside of the club. Blurry figures were crowded on the dancefloor. "Zoom in… there." I pointed to the top right corner of the photo. 

"Is that you?" Nat said, standing up and taking a closer look. 

Indeed it was, you could see my face clearly. I was dancing and my partner - well, you could only see the back of her head - but I would recognize that head anywhere. 

"That's why the facial recognition didn't bring anything up…" Nat said. "I'm so stupid, I should have searched for you, too, Barnes. Sarah would have obviously sought you out if she was lost in the past. But… why didn't you remember?"

"I don't know…" I said. "Most of my memories that HYDRA stole have been recovered, but not this one."

"I saw the scars in your mind," Strange said. "The memories that HYDRA extracted from you were ripped out - torn from you with a violence that never healed. But those memories… it's more like they were locked away - buried - and with great care, too."

I looked back at the blurry picture. Why… why was I made to forget? I turned back to him. "Thank you." I said. "That you for helping me find her, Stephen." I put my hand on his shoulder. 

For once, he didn't cringe, or grimace. Instead he smiled. "You're welcome James."

"Well, aren't you two chummy all of a sudden?" Nat said. 

"I understand now," Strange turned to meet my eyes. "I can see why she chose you. And I can see that you would do anything for her," Strange spoke softly. "And more so - that you would let her go if you could… but I understand why you can't. I would act the very same way if I were in your position."

I gave his shoulder a little squeeze. 

"Just promise to bring her back…" I could barely hear him. 

"I promise." I said.


	9. SARAH

I couldn't sleep. My mind was fighting with itself. I lay on Peggy Carter's bed, wearing her silk pajamas and I felt like an imposter. Once again I was trapped somewhere that I didn't belong, and this time there was more on the line than just my own safety. 

One thing I knew for sure was that I shouldn't see James Barnes again. I'd promised to spend his last night with him, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was a terrible mistake. 

Seeing that my husband didn't remember me from this time, I had to conclude that I was soon forgotten. How could you blame him? He went from his normal, happy life to a world of shit so quickly. Why would he remember a girl that he once kissed at a carnival? 

And what's worse, I knew I was powerless to stop anything from happening. Bucky was going to war. He was going to fall from the train. He was going to be captured by HYDRA. The future can not be changed. It was best for both of us to just let it go… otherwise, it would be much too painful. Call me selfish, but I just couldn't do that to myself. 

Connie slept soundly on her bed, innocent and lovely dreams danced through her head. I envied her. 

I finally stood up to lean against the window sill, all thoughts of sleep abandoned. It was a cool evening for June, and the moon was almost full. 

*  
"Dot, you gotta calm down, you're making me dizzy," Connie said. She was fussing with her hair in front of the vanity. She was taking forever to get ready, and I was pacing the room. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous. This is my last chance, you know? I got a lot riding on tonight," I wrung my hands and smoothed my dress. 

Connie had picked out another one of Peggy's dresses for me; this one was black and slightly form fitting, with a sweetheart neckline and curvy pencil skirt silhouette. The plan was to go to the Stark Expo early, and charm my way into Howard Stark's dressing room. He was a notorious ladies' man, so the choice of dress was deliberate, as it flattered my figure. 

"I hate to admit it, but I almost hope that Stark can't help you," Connie caught my eyes in the mirror. "I sure do like having you around." Then she turned around to face me. "Aw, honey, I'm sorry. That's awful selfish of me."

I bent down to wrap my arms around her. "No, no. It's not selfish at all. You've been a real friend, Connie. I wish I could take you with me."

"Really? Do you think I'd like the future?"

"Oh, definitely. People are a lot more… liberated, that's for sure!" 

Connie giggled and went back to her makeup. 

Connie had been endlessly kind to me during my brief displacement. When she wasn't working, she'd taken me to museums and parks, restaurants and landmarks. It had only been a few days, but she'd opened her home and her heart to me. 

"It might not be so bad, you know, if you had to stay," Connie said. "I mean, Bucky is clearly crazy about you. After the war is over, he'll come back and…" Connie caught the look of sadness in my face. "Oh hon, I'm sure he's going to come back. Bucky is tough as nails. He will come back," she nodded. 

"I hope you're right," I said. I wished that I could tell her the truth about everything - Bucky was never coming back - but I didn't. 

"All ready?" Connie asked, bouncing up from her seat. 

"As I'll ever be," I said. We'd planned to go early, but what I hadn't told Connie was that I was going to leave as soon as I'd seen Howard. If everything went according to plan, I would be home before Bucky realized I was gone. I hated to stand him up, but it was the only way. 

Except my plan was thwarted as soon as we stepped out of Connie's apartment building. Waiting for us was a handsome soldier in khaki. 

"Oh my god, Bucky you look so handsome!" Connie squealed when she saw him. 

"Sorry I'm so early," he said. "I just couldn't help myself," he leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. He made a striking image as he stood up tall, the way he looked down at me made my stomach tremble. 

"You got your orders, then?" Connie asked.

"Say hello to Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment," he took my hand and squeezed it. "Shipping out for England tomorrow morning." 

I knew that look. He was putting up a brave face, but I could tell that he was sad. 

"Congratulations, James," I said. "You look gorgeous." 

Bucky laughed. "I don't know about that… but speaking of gorgeous - doll, you are wearing the hell out of that dress." He reached down and pinched me. 

"Fresh!" I swatted him, laughing. 

I knew I was deviating from the plan. I knew I was being foolish. But damn, it was good to see him. I tried to memorize every detail of him in that moment, since it could very well be the last time I saw him. 

"Where's Steve?" Connie asked. 

"He's meeting us there," Bucky swung my hand in his while we walked. "Damn fool is trying to trick his way into the army again. Idiot doesn't know how lucky he is," Bucky shook his head. 

*  
"Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all. With Stark robotic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that!" 

The Expo was warm and crowded. Howard Stark's wild and exciting view of the future was sprawled out in front of us. Some of it was really visionary, like the primitive mock up of a 3D printer, and a solar powered monorail system. Other things were simply absurd, like a suit that claimed to allow you to walk on water - that looked much to heavy to actually work. Bucky seemed equally impressed with everything he saw. 

We were packed close to the main stage, and people were going completely mad over Howard Stark and his flying car. Steve had finally shown up, but he didn't seem nearly as enthralled as the rest of the crowd. His frown was deep set, and he seemed nervous and preoccupied. 

Bucky held tight to my waist with both hands, "Holy cow," he said, watching Stark's presentation, wide eyed like a kid. I giggled. 

Then with a dramatic shower of sparks, the hovering car crashed back onto the stage. Howard Stark laughed nervously and brushed the dust off his expensive tuxedo. "I did say a few years, didn’t I?" he said. 

With all the excitement, no one had noticed that Steve had wandered off.

"Hey, Steve, what do you say we treat these girls… Where'd he go?" Bucky said. He groaned. "Look, I gotta make sure Steve's not doing anything stupid… I'll be back in a minute, okay doll?" he kissed me softly on the cheek and jogged away to find his friend. 

Now was my chance, I didn't have any time to lose, I had to find Howard Stark. 

I grabbed Connie's hand and we pushed through the crowd to a group of trailers near the back of the main stage. Before we could get past the barrier, we were stopped by a tall man. He seemed to be playing the part of security guard, but he was wearing a rather stuffy three piece tweed suit, and a sour expression on his angular face. 

"I'm sorry, ladies," he said. "Authorized personnel only past this point."

"Mr. Stark is expecting us, don't you know?" Connie said, fluttering her eyelashes. 

The man looked us both up and down. "I'm afraid Mr. Stark isn't seeing visitors at this time." 

"Oh, please, Mister, we just want to talk," she flashed him a million dollar smile. 

"I'm sure that's true," he frowned. "But I'm afraid…" 

"Say, are you from England?" Connie got close to him and grabbed a hold of his tie. "You know, I'm a sucker for a man with an accent…" she giggled. 

"Well, I, uhh…" While the man was suitably flustered, I darted past him and ducked under the curtain. 

There he was, the man himself. And he was in fact, surrounded by visitors. He had his arms around two of the showgirls from his presentation, while the others lounged around the dressing room, laughing and drinking champagne. 

He looked up when I walked in. "Hey, sweetheart. Don't be shy, the more the merrier!" 

Before I could speak, the tall man came in after me, his collar slightly disheveled and a huge red lipstick kiss on his cheek. "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Stark. It seems I've been bamboozled. Now, if you please, ma'am." He went to take my arm. 

"Not so fast! Lighten up, Jarvis. That's no way to treat a beautiful lady like this." Howard stood up and sashayed up to me. "Are you here to join the party, sweetheart?"

"Mr. Stark, I must speak to you about an urgent matter…"

"That doesn't sound like very much fun," Howard pouted. 

"Please, I need your help. I… I'm a friend of Peggy Carter." 

Howard's face went serious. "Peggy? Is she okay?"

"Yes yes, she's fine I just…" I looked behind him at the girls. They looked none too pleased. 

Howard got the idea. "Jarvis, why don't you make sure that the girls get a nice dinner, would you? Spare no expense."

"But sir…" 

"Now, Jarvis. I have some business to discuss with Miss…?"

"White. Dolores White."

Jarvis did as he was told, and each of the showgirls glared at me as they exited the tent. 

Howard wandered over to the bar and poured out two glasses of whiskey. "So, what can I do for you, Dolores?"

I shook my head when he offered me the drink. "I need your help."

"You said that already. What can I help you with?" he sipped one of the drinks. 

I hadn't really thought this far. What the hell was I going to say? 

"Ummm…" I felt the tears start to rise.

"Hey, why don't you sit down, you seem wound up pretty tight." 

I sat down on the plush couch, took the drink from Howard, and downed it in one go. "I'm from the future." I waited for his reaction, but he didn't offer any. "Do you believe me?" 

"I think you know that I do," he replied. "You must be familiar with my work since you've gone to such lengths to see me. And well, if Peggy sent you, you must be above board. She doesn't have much of a sense of humour, that Peggy."

"Well, she didn't send me exactly…"

"Get to the point, sweetheart, I ain't getting any younger."

"Sorry…" I let out a long breath and launched into it. "I'm from the year 2019. I'm part of an organization created by SHIELD." 

"SHIELD?"

"It's an offshoot of the SSR…"

"Okay…"

"Anyway, I was in pursuit of an alien threat, who'd gotten ahold of the Epoch stone and…"

"Lemme guess, you touched it and got zapped back in time?"

"Yes. And now I don't know how to get home. I need the stone to…"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't help you," Howard said, getting up to make another drink. 

"But…"

"My research into the Epoch stone was a complete disaster. We tried to weaponize it, but well… we lost a lot of good men in those trials. The file has been locked away for years," he handed me another drink. 

"And the Stone?"

"The Sorcerer Supreme took it. I thought she'd destroyed it, but apparently not."

"I tried to find her… she wouldn't see me." 

"That's too bad, but I don't think it would have helped even if you did find it. The stone is much too dangerous." 

"But… I..." tears were falling now. 

"Aww, don't cry sweetheart," Howard said, taking the drink from me. He wrapped me up in a surprisingly comforting hug. 

"Isn't there anything you can do?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not. The technology just isn't there yet. Maybe in a few years…"

"Years? But I can't stay here. I have a life… a husband that I have to get back to."

"I'm sure he misses you very much," Howard smiled kindly. "But I'm sorry Dolores. For now, you're stuck here." 

*  
I wandered out of the tent in a daze. I was stuck, stranded, and officially out of ideas. My face was stained with tears, but I didn't have the energy to care. 

I spotted Connie hanging out near the renewable energy exhibit, chatting with her brown haired companion. She saw me coming and came to meet me. 

"Uh oh. I take it that didn't go well?" She put a reassuring hand on my arm.

I merely shook my head, worried that if I spoke I would start crying again. 

"Oh honey, don't cry! We'll find another way," she said. 

I gave her a small smile and nodded, though my heart was breaking. She hugged me hard. 

"Bucky's been looking all over for you," she said. 

Oh my sweet darling Bucky. How little time we truly had left. 

Just then he came around the corner, his hat in his hand, looking rather flustered. He sprinted toward me. "I was beginning to think you skipped out on me," he said, slightly breathless. Before I could stop myself, I fell into this arms. 

He held me close and rested his head on top of mine. He didn't ask me what was wrong, he didn't try to stop my tears, he just gently swayed and sheltered me while I cried. 

Finally I pulled back, taking Bucky's handkerchief from my purse. 

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes, I'm sorry, I just got a little… overwhelmed," I said, blotting away my tears.

"Believe it or not, I know the feeling," he said. 

"Would you like to go home, Dot? I can catch up with Nora later…" Connie said, looking back at her date. The Expo was still going strong, and the main pavilion had transformed into an impromptu dance floor.

"No, no, please don't let me ruin your night. Go and have fun," I said. 

Connie pulled me aside, "Are you sure, hon? I really don't mind, I don't want you to be alone tonight." 

"That's okay Connie, really. I'll feel better tomorrow, I just need some rest," I looked over at Bucky, who was watching the couples dancing, hands in his pockets. "...and I won't be alone."

"Okay," Connie rubbed my arm. "If you're sure. Here, take the keys to the apartment and get some sleep. We'll figure this out tomorrow, I promise. And uh…" she flashed me a luminous smile, "don't wait up!" She giggled and skipped over to Nora, taking her hand and heading towards the dancefloor. 

I walked over to Bucky and he took my hand. "You sure you're alright?" he asked. 

I looked into his grey-blue eyes. As much as I was disappointed and frustrated, I was overwhelmingly grateful just to be near him. "You know, right now… I'm okay." I squeezed his hand. 

*  
We wandered hand in hand. It was late, and the streets of Brooklyn were surprisingly deserted. I was mostly quiet as we walked, and Bucky's voice was like a balm for my flustered nerves. 

"See that alley?" he said. "I saved Steve's ass there more than once." He chuckled. "And that theatre over there? We once got thrown out by the ears for trying to sneak into a peep show. We must have been about eight years old…"

The full moon illuminated the sidewalks and gave a surreal vibrancy to the crooks and corners of Bucky's childhood home. Though it was bittersweet, I felt honoured to be sharing Bucky's fond memories. It was his last night, and he chose to spend it with me. 

Finally, we arrived at Connie's apartment. We'd walked slower and slower as we got closer to it, both of us dreading the moment when we had to say goodbye. 

"So," Bucky said, holding tight to my hand. 

I didn't hesitate. I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as if the gesture caused him pain. Then he took me in his arms and kissed me like it was the last time. Neither of us wanted it to end, and our kisses became more urgent, almost violent, until we realized that we were still in public. 

Bucky pulled back, and tried to catch his breath. "Darling, I really have to go, I'm so sorry… but if I don't I'm going to take you right here on your doorstep." But he still held on to me like his life depended on it. 

Finally it was the moment - the moment when I had to let him go. I couldn't stop it. It was destiny. But I was too weak, too desperate for him, and much too selfish to let him go. 

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Please stay with me tonight."

Bucky's eyes went large and he looked momentarily dumbstruck. "Dot, you don't have to… I mean, I don't expect anything from you. I'm not that kind of guy…"

"I know you're not," I said. "But - Bucky, I need you. Please." 

He searched my eyes, then gently ran his hand through my hair. He smiled slowly and nodded. 

We snuck up the stairs like bandits. I felt giddy and had to suppress my urge to giggle. I genuinely hoped that Connie wouldn't get kicked out of her apartment for sneaking a boy into her room. But this was wartime. Desperate measures. 

I ushered him inside and silently closed the door. Finally, I let go a nervous laugh, and so did Bucky. Soon we were almost doubled over with quiet laughter, clinging to each other. 

He pulled me close to him. His hand on my face burned like fire. He brushed his lips against mine until I was trembling. Before he kissed me, he hesitated. 

"I'll stay with you as long as you want, darling," he ran his thumb across my lips. "I promise to be a gentleman. We can just sleep if you want, I'd be happy just to hold you…"

"I want you to make love to me, slowly." I said. 

Bucky took a deep breath. His pupils were completely blown out. "Anything for you princess." He took his hat off and threw it on to the chair. I watched as he unbuttoned his jacket. 

I sat down on the bed and began to crawl backwards. I watched in awe as he slipped down his suspenders one by one, his jaw clenched, a look of almost frightening determination on his face. 

He let his shirt fall to the floor and climbed on top of me, into my waiting arms. He looked deep into my eyes again, as if silently asking for permission. I lifted my shoulders to meet him, finally closing the gap between us. I opened my mouth and tasted him; he tasted like oak and honey. 

I ran my hands up his arms, across his back. He was so familiar - my Bucky - but also different. His skin was smooth and unblemished, flushed with the bloom of youth. 

He sat up and pulled my dress over my head. He hovered above me and stared, until I began to feel self conscious under his gaze. 

"You are so beautiful," he swallowed. 

I reached out for him, pushing myself up against his chest. He held me so tightly, for the first time in a long time I felt safe. It felt like falling in love with him all over again. 

I was so overwhelmed by sensation, I thought I might cry, so I buried myself in his kisses. 

He began to slowly slide his left hand up my leg, and I shivered. I grabbed his hand and held it to my chest for a moment. 

He misinterpreted my reaction for reservation, and he tried to pull back. "I'm sorry, doll… we can slow down if you…"

"No," I shook my head, and kissed the palm of his hand. Then I guided it for him, between my legs. 

He let out a low groan and started to touch me, removing my panties and exploring my folds, revelling in the wetness he found there. His lips held fast to mine as he pushed his fingers inside me, creating a rhythm like a pulse. 

I shuddered around him, losing myself for a moment, and let out a small moan. I felt him smile against my mouth.

I grabbed his belt and started to undress him fully, he unhooked my bra and threw it to the floor. He clamped his mouth on my breast and ran his hand down to my backside, tilting me forward until my back was flat on the bed. 

He nuzzled into my neck and rutted up against me. Because of the friction, I was close to coming again. Then he raised himself up on his elbows. "Look at me," he said, and I did as I was told. 

I struggled to keep my eyes open as he pushed inside of me, slowly, so that I could feel every inch. Once he was inside, he let go of the breath he was holding. "Are you okay, doll?"

"Yes, yes James," I said, closing my eyes and exposing my neck to him. 

Then he began to move, slowly, so slowly, as he sucked and nibbled at my neck. I wrapped my legs around him and pushed my hips up, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut. 

He moved deliberately, reaching inside of me as far as he could - just to pull out almost all the way...then back again. It was agonizing and incredible, and I struggled not to cry out. 

His control began to waiver and his thrusts became more aggressive. He pushed me so hard into the mattress that I thought I would pass out, his weight heavy on top of me. I squeezed him as tight as I could as I came again, his relentless pace dragging out my orgasm in waves. 

He trembled and came inside me; I savoured the sensation of his warmth coating my walls. He collapsed on top of me, covering every inch of my skin with his own. I listened to the sound of our heavy breathing and the blood rushing in my ears. 

I wanted to stay like this forever, joined as we were. Because it was just me and Bucky - my Bucky - for the first time, for the last time…


	10. BUCKY

I remember it so clearly now. Like it was yesterday…

The girl from the Copa, Connie's friend. The girl with the warm smile and kind eyes. For the longest time I couldn't remember the colour of those eyes. Now, I know them better than my own. 

It had been a cool evening in June, but the room was hot as we lay together naked. The moon was full and bright. 

She'd asked me to make love to her that night - and I did. It made me dizzy, having her ask me outright like that. She seemed to need me as much as I needed her. She was so soft, so beautifully receptive to my every touch. It was easy and fun and perfect. We fit together like puzzle pieces. 

After we'd finished, we lay on our sides, gazing at each other. Her breasts were pushed together, with her arm just barely covering them. I reached out to caress one of her soft curls. 

I remember being overwhelmed. Not only because of what we'd just shared, but by the intensity of my emotions. I'd never felt anything like that before. I was in awe, stunned and…

"Are you scared?" she asked me, as if reading my mind. I was scared. Not about going to war, that seemed easy now. But I was scared to leave her behind. 

I closed my eyes. How was I supposed to answer that? My left hand found the skin of her thigh. My skin against hers was warm, and it felt like home. 

"I'm not sure if scared is the right word," I said finally. She waited for me to elaborate. "I guess I'm resigned. I was drafted, I didn't choose this. But I know it's the right thing to do," I knew I couldn't neglect my duty, what kind of man would that make me? I had to make her proud. 

But the urge to stay with her was so strong. "I just wish…" I turned to look at her. "I just wish I had more time."

She looked like she was about to cry, and I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go. I found myself confessing my feelings before I could stop myself. "Sweetheart, I… I think I've fallen for you."

She blushed a deep crimson and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. 

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she teased. 

I chuckled. "What girls?"

"You know…" 

"No, I don't…"

"Your other female… liaisons," she was too shy to say it. 

"There were no other girls."

"Huh?"

I sighed. "I've never made love with a girl before." 

"Really?" she sat up wide eyed. "But…" she looked around. "Really???"

I laughed. "Well, I'm no amateur, but you know what I mean."

"Honey, there's nothing amateur about you," she smiled and leaned into me, kissing me hard. She pulled back, "I'm Bucky Barnes' first time? Well ain't that a thing! My mind is completely blown." 

"Wanna be my second?" Then I crawled on top of her, hungry for more, and I found her more than willing. 

After, I lay cradled in her arms as she gently stroked my hair. We were both on the edge of sleep when I whispered, "Marry me Dot." 

She froze, so I sat up and took her face in my hands. "I know it's sudden. I know you must be still hurting from losing your husband…" I was rambling, but I had to get it out. "But I just know it, in my heart - we belong together."

"Bucky…" tears spilled out of her sweet brown eyes.

"Please, doll, say you'll wait for me," I couldn't stop myself, "or better yet, you can come to England. I can get a day or two of leave. We can get married there…"

"Be a war bride?" she offered a small smile.

"Something like that. Please Dot… please say yes," I was almost crying too. "Life is too short." 

"Oh Bucky. I would wait forever for you… but ask me again in the morning, okay?"

I felt like a damn fool. I knew then I would never love anyone else. And knowing I had to leave her hurt so badly, I thought I would die. Still, she held me while I drifted off to sleep, and I held on to her like a life raft. 

But in the morning she was gone… and I was nursing a killer hangover. I remembered a girl. Connie's friend. A sweet girl with kind eyes. We'd had fun together; I remembered getting a proper send off for a soldier. But I couldn't remember anything else… 

Oh my sweet Sarah - it was you all the time. But how, HOW could I have forgotten??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is going back in time and fucking your husband in the past considered cheating? It's a grey area if you ask me.  
> Discuss.


	11. SARAH

I sat on the windowsill of Connie's bedroom window, smoking one of her cigarettes. I hadn't smoked one in years, but I allowed myself that small consolation. I watched the light of the full moon move across Bucky's sleeping face. He looked like an angel. 

I saw Bucky's dreams, they were scattered and full of anxiety - it's no wonder. I'd made a right mess of things. How could I have been so careless? But the lure of one more night together was just too strong, and we gave into our desires without any thought of the repercussions. 

And then he'd asked me to marry him! What was I supposed to say? Tell him no and break his heart? Tell him yes… then what? Wait here until his letters stopped coming? 

God, I was such a fool. I'd felt his anguish at my response. He loved me so deeply already - even though he barely knew me. I suppose there might be some truth to the concept of soulmates. 

I couldn't stop what what going to happen to him - the pain, the torture, the mutilation… how could I live with myself knowing that I could do nothing? I couldn't bear the thought of causing him any more pain. The pain of lost love… the girl who let him down...

I looked down at his face one more time, and wished with all my heart that there was another way. I understood now what the Sorcerer Supreme was trying to communicate to me - that I would 'know what to do when the time came' - but that didn't make it any easier. 

I sat down next to him gently, careful not to wake him up. I pushed a strand of his soft brown hair off his face. Though it was shorter than what I was used to, I was still surprised that the army let him wear his hair so long. I smiled despite my tears. He looked so young, so unblemished. 

I went into his mind slowly, feeling my way around. He was so familiar, it was like stepping into a warm bath. But there were differences, the scars of the abuse he suffered weren't there yet. The pain of captivity had not yet make its mark. 

I found the memory of me. It was so pure, so honest; his love was sincere and real. I took the memory and buried it, as deeply as I could in his mind, like it was soft, wet earth; letting some of the memory peek through, like blades of grass. 

When he woke up, all he would remember was that he spent the night with a girl - a nice girl, who made him feel good. Connie's cousin from Jersey. 

I buried the memory, but I hoped that somewhere in his subconscious he could still feel me. I wanted him to know that I loved him no matter what. I wanted to assure him that he would survive. I hoped, rather than believed that it would work. 

When I was finished, I felt empty. Did I make the right choice? Was I helping him or just myself? I would have sold my soul to change his fate - but all I could do was try to soften the blow. I felt like I was betraying him; tampering with his memories, doing the same thing that HYDRA did. I would never forgive myself. 

The day was coming and I knew I had to leave before he woke up. I got dressed, and put on Peggy's long tan trench coat. Then with one last look at my ill fated darling, I left like a criminal in the night.

*  
I walked aimlessly for a long time. I passed by some soldiers, fully uniformed and carrying their heavy packs on their young backs. One of them whistled at me, but I barely registered it. I guess it was unusual for a woman to be walking the streets of Brooklyn at almost 5 in the morning. 

Eventually I came to the bridge, and there I stopped, leaning against the railing for support. The sky was lightening over the East River, and soon it would be a warm sunny day, a day like any other. But I felt like my life was over. 

I looked down into the brown choppy water below and wondered what it would feel like to sink into it. Would the cold water stun me right away? Or would I feel every cell in my body freeze and drown one by one? 

"Please come away from there, Sarah." 

I wasn't used to hearing my own name, and I almost didn't register that someone was talking to me. 

I spun around, and was surprised to find a young man standing behind me. It was Xan, the man from the Sanctum. He stepped towards me and held out his hand.

"Really, come down from there, you're making me nervous."

I took his hand and stepped away from the railing. "What… what are you doing here?" I said. 

"Stopping you from making a stupid mistake," he said. 

"Why do you care?" I was feeling defiant. 

Xan looked down. Then, suddenly, he began to change. His tan skin lightened to a smooth alabaster, and his body turned compact, with the recognizable curves of a woman. 

"Holy shitballs," I said. 

A small smile spread across the Sorcerer Supreme's serene face. 

"Hi," she said. 

"Ummm… hi?"

"I know you're very confused right now, but I'm here to put your mind at ease."

"I'm more than just confused. I'm pissed off," I stepped towards her, confrontational. "It was you the whole time? At the Sanctum? Why didn't you help me?" 

"Because it wasn't the right time," she said vaguely. 

I had so many questions, I didn't know where to begin. I began to cry with frustration. I looked down at the glowing medallion on her chest. 

"You could have helped me, you could have sent me home right away - with that," I pointed to the Time Stone. "I don't understand. Why did you make me suffer?"

"I'm not trying to hurt you, Sarah. It is merely the way things had to be."

"Don't play games with me. You're supposed to be my mother right?"

"Yes," she said. 

"Why did you abandon me?" 

Her stoic face finally betrayed a hint of sadness. "I, too, had to sacrifice what I loved - it was part of the grand plan. Destiny."

"Bullshit," I said. "People make their own destiny."

"Unfortunately, that isn't the case," she said gently. "But please know that I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," I said, crossing my arms. "I wish I'd just stayed in my world. The mental institution was better than this… torment." 

"Though your stay there was difficult, it did make you brave and strong. But you belong here."

"All part of 'the plan' - I take it?"

"Yes."

"I'm not going to get any answers out of you, am I?" 

"Some things can not be revealed until the proper moment." 

"Whatever, just leave me alone," I turned back to the water. 

"Sarah," she came to stand beside me. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but everything is how it should be."

"So, I just have to live with the fact that I just essentially raped my husband's brain so he would forget me?"

"It was hardly so cruel. You did it quite gently, actually. I'm impressed with your skill," she smiled. 

"Well, thanks, though I'm still not sure if it will help."

"It will help. You have allowed Sergeant Barnes to do his duty without guilt or remorse. It will help him to survive what he has to go through." 

"But if you can control time, why can't we prevent him from being captured?"

"Because then he would have died when he fell from the train. And Sergeant Barnes is meant for a greater purpose." 

"To be made into a murderer?"

"The things he was forced to do were truly tragic, but they were a necessary evil. Just like you, he had to endure great pain so that he could become the man he was meant to be." 

"But all those people… "

"The fate of the whole world depends on James Barnes. The people he has, and will save far outweigh those who were lost."

"I don't think Bucky would take much consolation from that." 

Gently, the Sorcerer placed her hand on my shoulder. Though I was still angry, I began to feel calmer at once. Her touch was soothing. "It is not just Sergeant Barnes on which the world depends, but his legacy." 

"His what?"

She smiled softly but didn't answer. 

"What do you mean, legacy?" I said. 

"I want you to know that I'm very proud of you. And though I've never been a mother to you… please understand that I love you." Her eyes looked sad. "And I am sorry that I have to leave you again."

I shook my head, tears ran down my face.

"...I am also sorry that I will never get to meet her," she said, letting go of my shoulder. 

"Who?" I said. 

But then she was gone. She didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke, or slowly vanish from sight, she was merely gone - like she was never there at all. 

I looked out at the river one last time, and walked away from the railing - sad, aimless, but resigned.


	12. BUCKY

"How do I look?"

Nat looked me up and down. "A bit like a homeless person," she said. 

"Nat! That's hardly helpful," Steve exclaimed. 

I'd done by best to try and dress the part of a WWII soldier; I could hardly go back to the 40s in skinny jeans. So, Nat and Steve dressed me in khaki slacks and a brown leather jacket, hoping I could pass for a pilot. 

I'd finally figured out where Sarah was, and I was impatient to get going. My friends, on the other hand, would not let me leave without a little preparation; including a makeover and a crash course on the Time Stone. 

"I'm sorry," Nat laughed. "But the beard's gotta go."

I groaned.

"What? You know nobody wore a beard in the 40s… except grizzled old sea captains," she said.

"She's right Buck…" 

I glared at Steve, who shut his mouth. 

"I really don't have time for this…" I muttered, marching back into the bathroom. 

"Actually," Stephen Strange called after me. "You have endless time. Though Sarah has been missing for a week, with the Time Stone…" 

"Yeah yeah," I called back, not letting him finish. "I get it, alright?"

Steve followed me to the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe to watch while I shaved.

"Steve, something's been on my mind," I said. "Those days I spent with Sarah, do you remember them?" 

"Yeah I do," Steve said. "And I think I know what you're going to ask…"

"Why didn't you remember her? I mean, she was your date first," I cracked a smile.

Steve let out a long sigh. "Well, I gotta be honest with you, Buck. I don't think I looked at her twice. I was preoccupied with feeling sorry for myself," he said, "plus, back then, I only had eyes for one person." 

I met his eye in the mirror, catching his meaning. I smiled. 

"I'm really sorry that I didn't put it together. It would have saved you a lot of trouble," Steve looked apologetic. 

I'd finished shaving and I turned to him, wrapping him in a warm hug. "Don't worry about it buddy, things have a way of working out," I said. 

We walked back into the living room together. "Better?" I asked. 

Nat whistled, "So handsome!" she gushed. "Now, about that hair…" Nat said. 

"No. I draw the line at my hair," I glared. 

Nat rolled her eyes, "Fine, but here…" she stood in her tip toes and ran her hands through my hair, pushing it back neatly from my forehead. 

"Are you finished?" I grumbled. 

"It'll have to do!" she said. 

"Can I go rescue my wife now?"

*  
One touch of the Time Stone, and I was back in my old neighborhood. It was completely surreal. Everything looked so small all of a sudden. And dirty. I forgot how scummy Brooklyn used to be. 

I'd chosen the day and time very carefully, I didn't want to suddenly appear in the middle of a busy street. And more than that, I knew I had to find Sarah at the precise right moment. 

Now that my memory had been restored, I understood the significance of what Sarah and I had shared the night before I shipped out. She'd spent my last night with me, and I'd fallen hopelessly in love with her. Sarah was easy to love. 

Having to erase my memories must have completely broken her heart, but I knew I had to ensure that it still happened. That night had been so special, and there was no way I was taking that experience away from either of us. So I chose the morning-after to come back.

I'd landed in an alley near Connie's boarding house, and the sky had just started to lighten with the morning sun. I watched from behind some packing crates until there was a commotion at the entryway. 

And there I was, being thrown out by the scruff of my collar by the headmistress. 

"You soldiers are all the same!" the heavy set woman cried after me. "I will not have you boys besmirch the reputation of this house!" 

I saw myself stumble on the pavement and bend into a low, dramatic bow in front of her. The headmistress merely scoffed and slammed the door. 

God, had I ever been that young? I looked like a baby, my face was flushed pink. I had to admit, I looked pretty cute. Maybe I should wear my hair short again, I thought.

I watched as I replaced my hat upon my head and started walking down the sidewalk. I remember thinking that I'd better hustle, as I shipped out at 9am. I also remember having a massive headache. But I was happy - pleased with myself for spending the night with a sweet girl whose face I couldn't quite remember...

I kept watching until I disappeared around the corner. Then I waited about 20 minutes to see if Sarah would return. I was amused that every few minutes, the headmistress threw out another soldier from the hostel. Apparently I wasn't the only one who'd gotten a pleasant send off. 

I saw no signs of Sarah, and I started to worry. Where could she have gone after she left me that night? We could find no record of her, so she could literally be anywhere. 

I walked up the steps of the boarding house and knocked. The headmistress came to the door, looking quite annoyed. 

"Didn't I just kick you out?" she remarked, but then furrowed her brow. She obviously noticed that I was different somehow. 

"No, um… I am a friend of Connie's. That other gentleman was… my brother." 

"Uh huh," she said, obviously not willing to believe anything I had to say. "What do you want boy?" 

"I'm looking for Connie's cousin," it occurred to me that I never knew Connie's last name. "Sar… I mean, Dolores White."

"Are you sure? You seem to be having trouble keeping track of your conquests young man." 

"It's nothing like that," I began to get agitated. "I just need to talk to her…" 

"Uh huh. So Dolores is stringing along both brothers huh? I gotta say I'm kind of impressed…" the headmistress leaned against the doorframe. 

"Look, do you know where she is or not?"

"Don't take that tone with me young man! And if you must know, I haven't seen her since last night. Perhaps you should keep better track of your girlfriends," she said and slammed the door in my face. 

I can see why Connie always complained about her landlady. What a sassy bitch. I stomped down the steps and shoved my hands in my pockets. 

I tried to figure out my next move, when as if summoned by magic, Connie herself came around the corner. I stood still, unsure what to do. I could bolt before she saw me, or I could pretend to be my 1940s self… or I could completely break her brain. Before I could decide, she looked up and saw me. 

"Bucky?" she came up to me quickly. "I thought you'd have shipped out by now… wait. Who are you?" she took a step back. 

"Uhh… hey, it's me, Con," I said stupidly. 

"What… the… fuck…" 

I chuckled, "Language!"

"Sorry but… wait. Why is your hair long? Where's Dot?" 

I let out a long breath. I wasn't sure what to tell her, but I needed to find Sarah fast - so I opted for the truth. I gave her the short version of a very long story. 

When I was finished, she said "so wait, you were frozen? That is just wild! You poor thing! Are you sure you're not messing with me?"

I rolled up my sleeve to show her my arm. 

"Wow, that's a hell of a thing," she said, reaching out and touching the metal. "It's actually really sexy…" she giggled. 

"Yeah, the ladies love it," I smirked, rolling my sleeve back down. 

"You know, you sure grew up handsome, Buck. You hardly look any older!" 

"I feel about a hundred years old…" I chuckled. 

"And you and Dot… I mean Sarah… are married? No wonder you two hit it off so well," she shook her head fondly. "That's awful romantic."

"Yeah, I suppose it is," I said. "So you see why I need to find her."

"I'm sorry, hon, but last I saw her, she left the Expo with… well, you," she said. "Let me think… she did tell me about this place, an old church on Bleecker. She said her mother once lived there. Maybe that's where she went." 

The Sanctum. Of course! "That's brilliant, Connie, thank you."

"I wish I could help you look, but I gotta change for work. If I'm late again I'm going to get fired." 

Then on cue, the headmistress peeked her head out of the front door, "Constance Woods! You get in here right this minute!" 

"Oh, I'm in trouble," Connie said, then kissed me on the cheek. "Please let me know when you've found her. I'm awfully worried." 

Connie hopped up the stairs and the headmistress shook her head. "Consorting with riff raff… really? Your cousin is a bad influence, Miss Woods." 

I looked up at her and winked, and I thought I saw the headmistress blush before slamming the door behind her. 

*  
"Ah, the infamous Sergeant Barnes."

"Were you expecting me?" 

The young man didn't answer, he just walked into the Sanctum, leaving the door open. I followed him inside. 

The Sanctum was dark and quiet, and the smell of incense irritated my throat.

"Would you like some tea?" He offered. 

"No, I'm good," I said. "Since you seem to know who I am, you must know why I'm here." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Have you found Sarah yet?" he said, taking a leisurely sip of tea. 

"I think it's quite clear that I have not," I was getting irritated quick. 

The man shook his head with a small smile. "Mr and Mrs Barnes, always losing each other! Honestly."

"Look, whoever you are, cut the crap alright? Do you know where she is or not?"

"You can call me Xan," he offered. 

"Sure, whatever. Are you going to help me?"

"Don't you see," he stepped towards me. "You know where she is. You two are bound by something greater than marriage, something even greater than love. Look inside yourself, and you will know where to find her."

I felt my anger start to get the better of me, so I marched up to Xan and clenched my jaw. But when I saw the look of kindness in his eyes, I couldn't help but soften. "Please," I said quietly. "Please tell me what to do."

"I swear, next time I see you, I'm going to knock your heads together. Sarah - always willing to give up everything, her life, her happiness for you. And you," he reached out and touched my arm gently. "you still don't think you're worthy of her. And both of you have no idea how powerful you are."

I felt my eyes start to fill with tears, but Xan started to lead me to the exit. 

"But I…" I was at the end of my rope. 

"Go home, James," Xan said, and closed the door behind him.


	13. SARAH

I walked aimlessly for awhile, in a sort of daze. The sun was high and it had begun to warm up. Still, I pulled Peggy's trench coat close to my chest. I felt like there was a gaping hole in my chest, and if I didn't hold it tightly, my heart would spill out onto the pavement. 

I thought about James. I imagined him meeting up with his men, nervous, enthusiastic, and excited by the prospect of war and the glory that comes with it. 

I walked through the streets of Brooklyn, not really noticing where I was going until the streets became narrower, with lots of shady corners; it was hauntingly familiar. Then I recognized the old St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, with its deep red stucco facade. I wasn't more than a few blocks away from our house... 

I watched some folks gather near the back entrance of the church. There were war vets, some missing limbs, and mothers with small children that looked starved. They were desperate and hungry people hoping for a bit of charity. 

I felt so selfish all of a sudden. Though I'd lost my home and my family, at least for the moment I was safe. And Bucky would be safe - eventually - though far far away. 

A little girl with bright blue eyes ran up to me, smiling as she leaned across the fence. She couldn't have been more than three years old. She smiled widely and held out a small, raggety doll. I nodded with approval and smiled back at her. I bent down and gave her all the money that Connie had given me. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. The little girl giggled, and ran off to show her mother. I made sure to be out of sight before her mother turned around. 

I walked deeper into Brooklyn Heights, and found that Connie was right: it was a sketchy neighborhood. Men leered at me while women stood on street corners. I didn't fear for my safety, as it was the middle of the day, but I was gripped with overwhelming sadness and useless pity. 

Finally, I approached that familiar building that would one day be our home. The outside was shabby, in dire need of a coat of paint, and bright tapestries hung in the windows instead of curtains. I could hear music coming from inside, and there were several bohemian looking young people hanging out in the yard next to the house, smoking cigarettes and laughing. 

As I came around to the front of the house, I saw someone sitting on the steps. His fingers were knotted in his long brown hair and he sat hunched, almost doubled over in a posture of anguished defeat. 

My heart skipped a beat, and I thought that my sorrow was causing me to hallucinate. I almost ran away, gripped with a sudden anxiety. 

Then he looked up. 

"Bucky?" 

I felt his mind touch mine before I let myself believe it was really him. I was hit by a wave of ecstatic relief. 

"Sarah?" his face was stained with tears. 

I nodded slowly and for a moment we just stared at each other. 

Then he jumped up off the stairs and pulled me towards him so violently it knocked the wind out of me. "Thank God," he said, holding me close to his chest.

I burst into exhausted tears and melted into his warmth, breathing him in. I went limp in his arms, letting him hold me up. I couldn't speak. 

Bucky took my face in his hands, "Aren't you happy to see me, pisicuță?" 

"Where's your beard?" I mumbled.

Bucky chuckled. "I shaved it off, it was Nat's idea." 

"You… you found me." I could barely get the words out. I looked into his grey-blue eyes and memorized every detail of his face. "How?" I asked. 

"I'm not sure exactly, but somehow I think the universe wants us together," he said. "And I got some advice from a holy man. He told me to come home… so I did. And here you are."

"You met Xan?"

Bucky nodded. 

"Bit of a cryptic little prick, isn't he?" I said. 

Bucky laughed and finally kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held onto him like my life depended on it. I felt that if I let go he would disappear, like some beautiful dream. But it was real. My Bucky found me.

I thought I heard some of the young people whistle at us, but we were so wrapped up in each other, I hardly noticed. Bucky started to kiss down my neck, but I pulled back. 

"Bucky, I… I'm so sorry," I said. 

Bucky looked alarmed. "For what?"

I let him go and plopped down to sit on the steps. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. 

"I took your memories. I betrayed you... I tampered with your brain. I'm so sorry. I'm no better than HYDRA…" I was almost hysterical. "And I… I used you… then made you forget. God, I'm a monster."

"Shhh… Sarah," he squeezed me tighter. "I understand why you did it. I would have done the very same thing. And I got my memories back." 

"But how?"

"Strange."

"Stephen Strange helped you? Since when are you guys so chummy?"

Bucky chuckled. "He's not such a bad guy once you get to know him."

I nodded. Then I squeezed my eyes shut against a new barrage of tears I felt coming. 

"But… Bucky… I… we… I feel like I cheated on you."

Bucky looked stunned. Then he let out a big belly laugh. It caught me off guard, but it was a beautiful sound. "It's not cheating, Sarah," he kissed me on the forehead. "It was still me, remember?" 

"Yeah, but…"

"But what? I don't regret it, believe me," he raised his eyebrows. "In a way, it's good that you took away my memories - because I got to fall in love with you twice."

His declaration caused me to dissolve in a fresh fit of tears, and Bucky laughed at me, burying his face in my hair. "God, I missed you," he said.

"I missed you too," I said. 

Bucky chuckled. "But you were with me the whole time!" 

"Yeah, I suppose I was. But you were a baby. Baby Bucky," I snuggled closer to him. "I missed my old man." I giggled. "Though it's kind of hot that I was your first time."

"Honey, you were my only."

"Huh?" I said, looking into his deep, expressive eyes. 

"Well, I mean, I didn't have much time for dating when I was murdering a bunch of people." 

I snickered. 

"It was just Dot… I mean you - then well… you," he said. 

"No shit," I said, pinching his arm. 

"Really!" Bucky laughed. 

"Well. You're my only too. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"It's kind of amazing." 

"Yeah, it kind of is…" he said smiling, leaning in to kiss me again. He brushed his lips against mine, making my stomach do flips and my cheeks burn hot. 

"Are you here for the room?" a shrill voice called from above. 

Slowly we separated and looked behind us. A short woman with black dyed hair had emerged from the house, smoking a cigarette, looking annoyed. 

I was about to speak when Bucky said "Yes we are, Ma'am. We're here for the room." Bucky pulled me up and we followed the woman inside. 

"Rent is $35 a month," she explained, taking us up the narrow staircase. "Each floor has a bathroom, and there's a phone in the front hall." 

In our time, the house was bright with an open concept living space, but now the house was divided into small one room apartments. She led us up to the third floor and opened the door to what was now one of our guest bedrooms. 

She leaned against the door smoking, looking bored while we inspected the room. It was dark, but cozy - clean but dingy. There was a small bed with a handmade quilt, and a few faded watercolours in gilded frames on the walls. 

"We have a lot of artists lodging with us. Nice group of kids, but I hope you don't mind the noise, they tend to stay up pretty late," the landlady said as we looked. around. "You guys artists?"

"Oh, yes, my husband is a photographer." I said. "Look honey, this would be perfect for a darkroom." I gestured towards the small closet. 

"Been married long?" she asked. 

"No, we're newlyweds," Bucky smiled and pulled me over by the waist, kissing the top of my head. "Actually, I'm shipping out soon, I just wanted to make sure that my girl was taken care of," he smirked. 

"Oh, we'll take care of her," the landlady said. I could hear what she was thinking. She didn't believe a word we said. She thought that I was Bucky's mistress. The boarding house was hardly a place for a respectable girl. 

I flushed at the thought. Bucky heard it too and snickered, covertly pinching my ass. "Do you mind if we have a moment to talk it over?" he said. 

The landlady lit another cigarette. "Sure, whatever," she said, and wandered off. 

When we were alone I swatted at Bucky and he merely laughed and locked the door to the apartment. 

"You are so bad," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

"$35 a month, can you believe it?" he said. 

"Yeah, that's like $5000 in 2019. But I wonder how much rent the cockroaches pay." 

Bucky chuckled. "Only the best for my baby," he said, crashing his lips against mine. Slowly, he slid his hands into my open trench coat, pressing himself against me.

"What are you up to Sergeant Barnes?" I purred. 

"Have I told you how gorgeous you look?" Bucky said. "Doll, you're driving me crazy."

I giggled as Bucky pressed me up against the wall, attacking my mouth and moving down to nibble at my neck. He pushed his hardness against me and I let out a soft moan. 

"Shh… someone will hear us," Bucky whispered looking at me through heavily lidded eyes. He ran his hand along the length of my body, caressing the material of my green satin dress, feeling my every curve.

"You like Peggy's dress?" I said. 

"Hmmm…" He took a small step back and cocked an eyebrow. Then he reached forward and tore open the buttons on my chest, exposing my black lacy bra. 

I gasped, "Bucky you animal!" 

"You are so beautiful," he gazed at me before nuzzling his face between my breasts. I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling it gently. 

While young James had been a sweet and considerate lover, Bucky was rough and insatiable. He knew what I wanted and he was eager to give it to me.

I wanted him to fuck me and never stop. I wanted to be raw from him, I wanted the ache. Now that we were together again, I was never going to let him go. I hardly remembered where we were, I was drunk, dizzy and lost to him. 

His hand found the skin of my leg under my skirt, and I relished in the familiar feeling of firm metal. I squealed when he ripped my panties from my body and hoisted my legs up around his waist. He wasted no time with his clothes, and soon he was pressing against my soaking wet folds.

He plunged into me swiftly and deeply, and my head hit the wall. 

"Sorry sweetheart," he said. 

"Don't say sorry, just fuck me," I groaned. 

He slammed into me, no longer even trying to be quiet. In the back of my mind I was thankful that music was playing from the floor below us. 

He seemed to be making up for lost time, and set a relentless pace. He pulled my legs closer towards him, causing me to cry out at the almost painfully intense angle. He covered my mouth with his to muffle my agonized moaning. 

I held on to his neck for dear life, even though I knew Bucky would never drop me. I could feel the coil of pleasure start to build in my belly, and was almost sad that it had come so soon. Before I could stop myself, I was exploding around him, trembling and gasping for breath. 

Bucky held my eyes as he came inside me soon after. He was so beautiful, and I almost started to cry at the look of reverent devotion in his eyes. 

He held me still and kissed me for several minutes longer, holding me up in that awkward position. Neither of us wanted to be apart. But as I felt him start to get hard inside me again, my logical mind took over. 

"Maybe we should…"

Bucky groaned. "I suppose we should…" He placed me gently down on the floor, holding my hand while I tried to regain my balance. I looked down at my torn dress and pouted. 

"Sorry, doll. I couldn't help myself." Bucky said and buttoned my trench coat up to my throat. "There," he said, admiring his work. "Perfectly respectable."

I laughed and picked up my underwear from the floor. "Well, these are destroyed," I said. 

Bucky snatched them from my hand and winked, shoving them in his pocket. "Shall we?" he bowed and unlocked the door. 

"So?" The landlady said once we got downstairs 

"I think we're going to pass on it for now," Bucky said. 

The landlady snickered. I saw what she was thinking. She knew exactly what we were doing up there, and this wasn't the first time something like that had happened. I blushed a bright scarlet. 

"Thank you for your trouble," Bucky said, rummaging around in his pocket and handing the lady a 100 dollar bill. 

Her eyes went wide and she stuffed the bill into her bra. "Anytime, sugar." She smiled. 

We burst out of the building giggling like kids. 

"You're so bad!" I squeezed Bucky's hand. 

"You love it."

"Hey, how much money you got?"

"Umm, lots. Tony gave me a stack of old bills before I left - 'just in case'," he said.

"Feel like doing something good?"

"Feeling guilty honey?"

I giggled and dragged Bucky into a small grocer on the corner. We spent the next half hour buying food, linens and sundries, and packing them into big wicker baskets. I made sure to add some children's toys, including a new rag doll. We jammed whatever cash we had left into the bottom of the baskets. 

When we were finished, we walked back to St. Charles church. We gingerly placed the baskets on the steps of the back door of the church. I knocked vigorously and we bolted, laughing like kids pulling a prank. We watched from the bushes while the pastor emerged, a soft grin spread over his face when he saw the baskets. 

*  
"Look at you two, together again! I'm positively chuffed," Connie cooed. 

"We couldn't have done it without you, Con," Bucky said. 

Connie waved away the compliment and took a sip of her milkshake. We were seated at the little cafe near Bleecker, saying our goodbyes before we finally went home. 

"Did you make it to work on time? I forgot to ask…" Bucky said. 

"Nope!' Connie said with a big smile. "I got fired."

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed. 

"Don't be! Because you'll never guess who I got a visit from this afternoon. Mr. Edwin Jarvis - as in Howard Stark's personal assistant! I'm starting a job at Stark Industries Monday morning!" 

"Wow Con, that's amazing! What's the job?" I asked. 

"I have no idea!" Connie laughed. "But I ain't going to be a chorus girl, that's for sure!" 

"I'm so happy for you! And I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me," I reached over and took Connie's hand. "I'm going to miss you so much." I felt the tears start to prickle again. "I wish I could take you with us."

"Naw, I don't think the future is for me. I like it here," Connie said. "Besides, you said that people are more enlightened in the future? Well, someone's gotta get them there, right?" She squeezed my hand tight, and I nodded, forcing a watery smile. 

"Just look me up when you get home alright?" Connie said. "I'll make you proud, I promise." 

*  
Bucky and I walked down the dusty sidewalk one more time. The sun was finally setting, and now that we had said goodbye to Connie, there was nothing left to do but…

"Ready to go home?" I said. 

Bucky stopped walking and furrowed his brow. "You know, I don't think I am."

He reached for me and placed a small kiss on the tip of my nose. "Call me selfish, but I'm greedy for your company. Today started out horribly stressful, but it turned out to be one of the best days of my life." 

He dug into the pocket of his leather jacket. He pulled out the amulet and within it, the Time Stone glowed with an ominous green light. "I don't think I'm ready to go home yet." He tossed the stone high into the air and caught it. "Fancy a vacation, doll?"


	14. EPILOGUE : BUCKY

"Wake up, Sarah."

"Huh?"

I snapped her picture before her eyes were fully open. 

"Really, Bucky?" 

I chuckled and snapped another. "You are so incredibly beautiful," I said. 

"If you say I'm 'glowing', I'm going to punch you," she said and snatched the camera away from me. Sarah had given me a Hasselblad 500EL for our second wedding anniversary. 

I laughed and gave my best Blue Steel as she took a series of pictures. Then I self consciously ran my fingers through my hair. "Are you sure it's not too short?" I asked. 

Sarah had convinced me to cut it. Not quite as short as I wore it in the 40s, but it was a big change. To be honest, it felt kind of nice - lighter.

"You're gorgeous babe," she said, reaching into my hair and thoroughly messing it up.

We sat on the crisp white Hawaiian beach under a large umbrella. The water was so blue it looked fake, like something out of an old technicolor movie. I watched as Sarah dug her toes into the sand and sighed with pleasure. 

I wiped the sweat from my brow. 

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" Sarah asked.

"Hot." I grumbled. 

"Well of course you are, you goose! You're the only one who wore black to the beach. Take your shirt off you lunatic!" 

"You know very well I can't do that."

"Oh, don't be silly, people will just think it's a prop from the movie."

"You think?" I said. Sarah nodded. "Alright, fine." I peeled off my long sleeve black t-shirt and felt a wave of relief as the warm air touched my sweaty chest. The bright midday sun caught the metal of my arm and sparkled like a flashbulb.

"Ah! My freakin eyes!" Sarah cried. 

"Shut up!" I laughed and started to tickle her relentlessly, until her ridiculous straw hat fell off her head and into the sand. 

Then, as if on cue, two teenage girls in ponytails and polkadot bikinis bounced over to us. 

"Excuse me, sir?" one of the girls said. "May we have your autograph?" 

"Uh…" I could feel Sarah choking on her laughter beside me. 

"Can you tell us about the picture? Is it sci-fi or something?" the girl asked, looking confusidley at my arm. 

"Umm… yeah," I said. "That's exactly what it is." 

"What's he like?" the other girl asked, swooning. 

"Who?"

"Elvis, of course!"

I snatched the pad the girl was holding and scribbled something unintelligible. "He's swell," I grumbled. 

The girls giggled. "Thanks Mister!" they said and ran off. 

I heaved a huge sigh and leaned back in my chair. Sarah was caught up in hysterics. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Immensely," Sarah said. 

It was 1962, and on a closed off area of the beach, just adjacent to our little haven, a young Elvis Presley was filming Blue Hawaii. Those two girls would get quite a surprise when the movie came out and there were no cyborgs in it. 

Sarah had chosen our destination, one of many that we would visit before finally returning home to 2019. So far we'd visited the Chicago World's Fair in 1893, the opening of Coco Chanel's first boutique in 1913, and Woodstock 1969. 

At last Sarah had gotten her Hawaiian vacation; I was not about to deny her anything.

I lay on the sand next to her chair and wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my head gently on her belly. 

Sarah had just started to show, and her little belly gave me goosebumps every time I touched it. 

When Sarah told me she was pregnant, I couldn't believe it. I don't think I said a word for a solid minute. Sarah was close to slapping me when I finally grabbed her and kissed her breath away.

I didn't understand how someone like me - someone with so much to answer for - could get so lucky. 

After what HYDRA did to me, I thought we'd never be parents. An ex assassin and a mental patient: we're not exactly ideal candidates for adoption. But leave it up to Sarah to find a loophole.

I thought back to the stupid, reckless kid that I was when she found me… at least I did something right. Sarah still had a lingering guilt, as if she betrayed me somehow, but I was happy beyond measure. We were having a baby and it was mine. Ours. 

"Can you hear anything in there?" Sarah asked, playing with my hair as I lay on her belly. 

"Just your heartbeats. Two strong heartbeats." 

"I can hear her, you know," she said. 

"Really?? What's she saying?" 

"Nothing, really," she chuckled. "But she likes it when your rub my belly." 

I smiled and rubbed little circles on Sarah's soft warm skin. 

"What should we call her, James?"

"Hmmm… I haven't actually given it much thought." 

"I was thinking… what about Constance?"

"That's very old fashioned," I said. "Luckily, I'm an old fashioned kinda guy. I love it. And Connie would too," I gave her a gentle squeeze. 

"I love you Bucky." 

"I love you too, doll.

*  
A few weeks a one touch of the Time Stone later, we were home again - about an hour after I'd originally left. 

When our friends saw us, they gaped at Sarah's swollen stomach and struggled to find words. Then Steve slapped me so hard on the back that I stumbled. Nat hugged Sarah gently and squeezed out a couple of joyful tears; which I didn't even think was possible for Natasha Romanov. Even Stephen Strange gave me a tense but sincere congratulatory handshake. 

Steve assured me that he'd given the order to lock Vorta into the deepest, darkest, most high security facility in the world, so that he would never bother us again. And he never did.

*  
Sarah and I made good on our promise to Connie, and looked her up. She'd left her mark on the world, just like she promised. She'd been instrumental in advancing the feminist movement, and even had a hand in founding SHIELD with Howard Stark and Peggy Carter - all while being openly gay. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2010, in her sleep, with her wife by her side. 

*  
And so, Sarah and I were left to live our life, happy and safe… well, as safe as a couple of superheros can be. 

And when my daughter was born, she had curly locks of dark blonde hair - just like Sarah had when she was a little girl - but her soulful grey-blue eyes were distinctly mine.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😭  
> Thanks for reading!  
> I guess that's it for the Sarah & Bucky series... unless I think of something else. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments. It means so very much to me.  
> xo


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